Successful sport professionals earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Successful
sport
workers earn Change the noun form
sports
a huge
money than others who work in important fields, so many Correct word choice
more
people
believe this
is worth it, while
others claim that is
unfair.However
,This
essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion.
On the one hand, people
who word
in Correct your spelling
work
Correct article usage
the sport
sport
field, Change the noun form
sports
they
earn Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
great money becauseRemove the article
apply
a
lot of Change preposition
of a
reason
, Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
firstly
, as their lives
is
always in danger, they can lose their life or Change the verb form
are
had
Wrong verb form
have
a
awful injury Change the article
an
in
their body. Change preposition
to
For example
, a huge numbers
of football players had a dangerous injury in their body and Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge number
huge numbers
stoped
playing football, like Javier Clemente, a player in Correct your spelling
stopped
Spain
team, Change noun form
Spain's
at
1969 had a bad injury Change preposition
in
his
leg and after four unsuccessful operations, he retired at the age of just 24.Change preposition
in his
Therefore
, their incomes are totally justified.
On the other hand
, individuals who work in other important professions such
as sciensen
, Correct your spelling
science
sciences
medical
, or even Replace the word
medicine
engineer
field, they had a less income than the sporters, and it is a big problem the Replace the word
engineering
country
most
solve Correct your spelling
must
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
and
Correct word choice
apply
appreciation
what Replace the word
appreciate
this
Change the determiner
this person
these people
people
do for this
country
and how they try their best to help people
.For instance
, the country
need
to increase Change the verb form
needs
threir
Correct your spelling
their
incomes
to show more respect for what Fix the agreement mistake
income
this
do
for Change the verb form
does
ir
Correct your spelling
our
country
.
In conclusion, all workes
Correct your spelling
work
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
nessassary
and every person Correct your spelling
necessary
need
to show appreciation for what he Change the verb form
needs
do
.The Change the verb form
does
soprters
give the Correct your spelling
sorters
people
fun and also
endangering
their Wrong verb form
endanger
lives
, thus
others
workers Correct quantifier usage
other
also
give their all lives
to help people
and make their lives
better.Therefore
, every job need
to have a good earn and show respect to it.Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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coherence cohesion
Work on grammar and sentence structure to improve accuracy and clarity. Use connectors and linking words appropriately to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Develop ideas more comprehensively and ensure they are clearly explained. This will help the reader understand your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the issue.
task achievement
You included specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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