Successful sport professionals earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#sport #professionals #money #people #professions

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Successful

sport

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sports

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workers earn

a huge

Correct word choice

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money than others who work in important fields, so many

people

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believe

this

Linking Words

is worth it,

while

Linking Words

others claim

that is

Linking Words

unfair.

However

Linking Words

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion. On the one hand,

people

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who

word

Correct your spelling

work

show examples

Correct article usage

the sport

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sport

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sports

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field,

they

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apply

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earn

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apply

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great money because

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of a

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lot of

reason

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reasons

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firstly

Linking Words

, as their

lives

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are

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always in danger, they can lose their life or

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

Change the article

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awful injury

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show examples

their body.

For example

Linking Words

a huge numbers

Correct the article-noun agreement

a huge number

huge numbers

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of football players had a dangerous injury in their body and

stoped

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stopped

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playing football, like Javier Clemente, a player in

Spain

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Spain's

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team,

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show examples

1969 had a bad injury

his

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in his

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leg and after four unsuccessful operations, he retired at the age of just 24.

Therefore

Linking Words

, their incomes are totally justified.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, individuals who work in other important professions

such

Linking Words

sciensen

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science

sciences

medical

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medicine

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, or even

engineer

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engineering

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field, they had a less income than the sporters, and it is a big problem the

country

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most

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must

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solve

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apply

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and

Correct word choice

apply

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appreciation

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appreciate

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what

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

this person

these people

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people

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do for

this

Linking Words

country

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and how they try their best to help

people

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For instance

Linking Words

, the

country

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need

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needs

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to increase

threir

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their

incomes

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income

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to show more respect for what

this

Linking Words

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does

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for

Correct your spelling

our

country

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. In conclusion, all

workes

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work

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are

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nessassary

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necessary

and every person

need

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needs

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to show appreciation for what he

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does

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.The

soprters

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sorters

give the

people

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fun and

also

Linking Words

endangering

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endanger

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their

lives

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thus

Linking Words

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

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workers

also

Linking Words

give their all

lives

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to help

people

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and make their

lives

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better.

Therefore

Linking Words

, every job

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to have a good earn and show respect to it.

Submitted by daliaakram35 on Wed Oct 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on grammar and sentence structure to improve accuracy and clarity. Use connectors and linking words appropriately to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.

task achievement

Develop ideas more comprehensively and ensure they are clearly explained. This will help the reader understand your arguments better.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the issue.

task achievement

You included specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

exceptional talent
dedication
entertainment value
revenue
ticket sales
advertisements
sponsorships
short-lived career
physical and mental challenges
compensation
limited career span
health risks
financial rewards
disproportionate emphasis
intellectual contributions
social contributions
undervaluing
societal perception
income distribution
valuable

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Successful sport professionals earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification

Describes the two charts about girls and boys's activity

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some feel that individuals should try to assimilate completely to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.