In the modern world, schools are no longer necessary because there is so much information available through the internet that children can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The world is

being

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

more and more modern, especially the

internet

Use synonyms

. The

internet

Use synonyms

has a huge of available information so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

some people believe that

children

Use synonyms

now do not need to go to

school

Use synonyms

and can study well by themselves at

home

Use synonyms

. For me, I partly disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion and I will discuss my reason in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand, studying at

home

Use synonyms

will help the

children

Use synonyms

have more ability to manage not only their knowledge but

also

Linking Words

their time. They can study the subjects or the topics they want through many online courses on the

internet

Use synonyms

and they will be more proactive in managing their timetable. They can

Change the verb form

also have

show examples

also

Linking Words

have more time for their hobby and other leisure activities

such

Linking Words

as sports, gardening,...

For example

Linking Words

, many families in

Correct article usage

the US

show examples

and UK let their

children

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study at

home

Use synonyms

and they are very independent and have many life skills that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

do not teach.

On the other hand

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

available information on the

internet

Use synonyms

, some of that

are

Change the verb form

show examples

not true and can cause misunderstanding for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

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. Studying at

school

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provides

children

Use synonyms

with many other skills

such

Linking Words

as communicating, making friends,

Correct word choice

and teamworking

show examples

teamworking

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

,... that online learning can not

response

Replace the word

respond

show examples

Change preposition

to.

show examples

Children

Use synonyms

still need the help of the teachers and

the

Change the word

their

show examples

school

Use synonyms

mates and they will be more active in the

school

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environment

instead

Linking Words

of sitting at

home

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learning t In conclusion, I think that studying at

home

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provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

the comfortable and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

independence for

children

Use synonyms

but studying at

school

Use synonyms

will help

children

Use synonyms

have

Change the article

show examples

environment to share and work with people around them.

hanie.english.eduWed Oct 02 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your thesis statement is clear and concise. For instance, simply stating 'I partly disagree' without elaboration can make it less effective. Aim to clearly outline your stance in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Proofread your essay to avoid small grammatical mistakes and to ensure that verb tenses and sentence structures are correct. This would help improve clarity and readability.

task achievement

Provide more detailed examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, use specific instances that clearly illustrate your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Try to make the transition between paragraphs smoother by using appropriate linking words or phrases. This will make your essay flow better and improve its logical structure.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both perspectives on the topic, which reflects a balanced approach. This helps in presenting a comprehensive view.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance on the issue, providing a clear sense of closure to the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

formal education
structured learning environment
self-paced learning
personalized learning
interpersonal skills
digital divide
socio-economic disparities
qualifiable educators
motivation
tailored teaching methods
media literacy
critical thinking
routine
discipline
extracurricular activities
holistic development
well-rounded education

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In the modern world, schools are no longer necessary because there is so much information available through the internet that children can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe individuals involved with creative arts should be financially supported by the government. Some other believe they should find seperate resources. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that it is best to live in a vertical city (meaning that people work and live in high buildings) while others think a horizontal city is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more companies are willing to view graduates of online universities on an equal level as those who attended brick-and-mortar classrooms. Discuss the advantages of both styles of learning as it relates to the working world.