Successful sport professionals earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an argument that it is justified to provide
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
amount of money to successful
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
players rather than other pivotal professionals,
while
others disagree with
this
statement. I personally agree with the latter opinion and I will elaborate more on both sides through
this
essay. People who believe that it is totally fair to provide
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
amount of salary for athletes have several reasons.
Firstly
,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
players need to be consistently trained before participating in a competition. As they are expected to win, they have particular trainers who exercise them hard.
For example
, badminton athletes are scheduled to be daily trained
three
Change preposition
for three
show examples
years before joining an international competition.
Secondly
,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
professionals bring the big name of their nation, and thereby it will be
such
a prestigious to achieve an award.
Thus
, these people believe that athletes deserve to receive bigger income.
In contrast
, individuals who argue that it is an unjustified policy believe that other professions have more crucial roles
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
society. Doctors,
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
instance, need to stand by 24 hours a day in case there is an emergency call from a hospital.
Additionally
, they need to take longer years than ordinary bachelors in order to complete their medical degrees. Their average salary,
however
, was only less than half of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
players per year, even though they cure diseases and save patients'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Therefore
,
while
the
atheles'
Correct your spelling
athletes'
contribution to society is not impactful, it is so unfair to provide astronomical
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of money for them. In conclusion,
it is clear that
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
professionals earn a great deal of money because they need to complete a long training process and they are
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
representatives in an international competition.
However
, I firmly believe that it is unfair because they do not have
direct
Correct article usage
a direct
show examples
impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
communities and other professions are more impactful to society in terms of providing services.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your examples are both relevant and developed further to support your arguments more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Try to strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs to improve overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The essay is well-organized with clear main points in each paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exceptional talent
  • dedication
  • entertainment value
  • revenue
  • ticket sales
  • advertisements
  • sponsorships
  • short-lived career
  • physical and mental challenges
  • compensation
  • limited career span
  • health risks
  • financial rewards
  • disproportionate emphasis
  • intellectual contributions
  • social contributions
  • undervaluing
  • societal perception
  • income distribution
  • valuable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: