Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Violent
crimes
among teenagers are becoming more popular. Some people
argue that children who commit dangerous crimes
should be treated like adults. while
others say the best way to treated
them is by Wrong verb form
treat
Wrong verb form
rehabilitating
rehabilitated
. Correct pronoun usage
rehabilitated them
This
essay will discuss both of
views.
Change preposition
apply
People
who think that children should be treated like people
who are in adulthood when they commit crimes
, they
lack Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
knowledge about Remove the preposition
apply
this
important period. They forget that teenagers in
Change preposition
at
this
age have many changes in their mind
and in their Fix the agreement mistake
minds
body
. Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
Although
they can not control themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
as well as
adult person
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
For example
, a study at Harvard University shows that many young people
who commit crimes
they
have many mental issues. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For
this
reason
young Add a comma
reason,
people
need some special treatment what
is suitable for Correct word choice
that
them
age.
On another hand, some Correct pronoun usage
their
people
think that rehabilitated
is the best way to treat Replace the word
rehabilitation
this
type of criminals
. Because Fix the agreement mistake
criminal
this
Change the determiner
these
people
are in sensitive
period and they are more capable Correct article usage
a sensitive
to fix
their personalities. Change preposition
of fixing
For instance
, the goverment
of Japan decided to Correct your spelling
government
treated
Change the verb
treat
people
who are
commit serious Unnecessary verb
apply
crimes
by rehabilitated
Wrong verb form
rehabilitating
Correct pronoun usage
them befor
befor
Correct your spelling
before
send
them to jail. and Wrong verb form
sending
this
show
Change the verb form
shows
a great results
after just two years.
Correct the article-noun agreement
great results
a great result
To sum up
, serious crimes
among young people
are more common these days. This
essay discuss
both Change the verb form
discusses
of
views. In my Change preposition
apply
opinin
, Correct your spelling
opinion
opinin'
rehabilitated
is the best treatment for Replace the word
rehabilitation
people
who commit crimes
in
Change preposition
at
young
age. Correct article usage
a young
That's
can help them to fix their personalities Unnecessary verb
That
befor
sending them to jail. Correct your spelling
before
While
treatd
these Correct your spelling
treating
people
like adults can give us a opposite results
.Correct the article-noun agreement
opposite results
an opposite result
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content
The essay does a good job of presenting both perspectives on the issue, showing an understanding of different viewpoints.
cohesion
Phrases like 'For this reason' and 'To sum up' help in guiding the reader through the argument and concluding effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?