Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#crimes #people #under-18 #children #adults

Violent

crimes

among teenagers are becoming more popular. Some

people

argue that children who commit dangerous

crimes

should be treated like adults.

while

others say the best way to

treated

Wrong verb form

treat

show examples

them is by

Wrong verb form

rehabilitating

show examples

rehabilitated

Correct pronoun usage

rehabilitated them

show examples

This

essay will discuss both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

views.

People

who think that children should be treated like

people

who are in adulthood when they commit

crimes

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

knowledge about

this

important period. They forget that teenagers

Change preposition

show examples

this

age have many changes in their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and in their

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

Although

they can not control

themselfs

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

as well as

adult

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

For example

, a study at Harvard University shows that many young

people

who commit

crimes

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have many mental issues.

For

this

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

young

people

need some special treatment

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

is suitable for

them

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

age. On another hand, some

people

think that

rehabilitated

Replace the word

rehabilitation

show examples

is the best way to treat

this

type of

criminals

Fix the agreement mistake

criminal

show examples

. Because

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

people

are in

sensitive

Correct article usage

a sensitive

show examples

period and they are more capable

to fix

Change preposition

of fixing

show examples

their personalities.

For instance

, the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

of Japan decided to

treated

Change the verb

treat

show examples

people

who

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

commit serious

crimes

rehabilitated

Wrong verb form

rehabilitating

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them befor

show examples

befor

Correct your spelling

before

send

Wrong verb form

sending

show examples

them to jail. and

this

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

a great results

Correct the article-noun agreement

great results

a great result

show examples

after just two years.

To sum up

, serious

crimes

among young

people

are more common these days.

This

essay

discuss

Change the verb form

discusses

show examples

both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

views. In my

opinin

Correct your spelling

opinion

opinin'

rehabilitated

Replace the word

rehabilitation

show examples

is the best treatment for

people

who commit

crimes

Change preposition

show examples

young

Correct article usage

a young

show examples

age.

That's

Unnecessary verb

That

show examples

can help them to fix their personalities

befor

Correct your spelling

before

sending them to jail.

While

treatd

Correct your spelling

treating

these

people

like adults can give us

a opposite results

Correct the article-noun agreement

opposite results

an opposite result

show examples

Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on Wed Oct 02 2024

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content

The essay does a good job of presenting both perspectives on the issue, showing an understanding of different viewpoints.

cohesion

Phrases like 'For this reason' and 'To sum up' help in guiding the reader through the argument and concluding effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Juvenile delinquency
Justice system
Deterrence
Cognitive development
Accountability
Severity of punishment
Rehabilitation
Restorative justice
Root causes of crime
Recidivism
Reintegrate
Impulse control
Environmental factors
Incarceration
Law-abiding citizen

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Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Human activities have led negative effects on plant and animals all over the world. Some people think it is too late to do something about it. Others think there is still some time to take actions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As is often said that “Prevention is better than cure,” For this reason, governments should spend national health budget more on the prevention of diseases than on treatment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?