IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many countries have the same shops and products. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #shops #products #consider #development
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A portion of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that locating the same outlet with identical products in different countries is a beneficial strategy,
while
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 some say
otherwise
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.I agree with both perspectives.As
that is
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 the case, I will elaborate on why it is important,
as well as
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 why some
people
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 oppose the company’s initiative, with evidence for each claim.
To begin
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 with, some
people
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 agree with
this
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 approach because it may significantly boost a company’s sales.By opening shops across the continents, products displayed on the shelves could attract
people
Use synonyms
’s attention.
This
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 potential buyer will enter the outlet and
browsing
Wrong verb form
browse
show examples
 the
product
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 one by one.If it fits their style,obviously they will consider
to buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
 it.
For instance
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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high-end brands like Chanel
displays
Correct subject-verb agreement
display
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 their best-seller
product
Use synonyms
 at the front of the boutique.Not only they could experience a face-to-face buying session in a well-decorated outlet
,
Add the word(s)
, but
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the top-notch service given by the staff
also
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 might be one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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 why
such
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 brands have their own regular buyers.In short,
this
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 method will grow their annual revenue.
On the contrary
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, the problem with
this
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 approach is that the
product
Use synonyms
 would be sold at a higher price in the imported countries compared to the country of origin.In light of
this
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,companies must pay taxes to the country’s government. Aside from that,with a
country
Change noun form
country's
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 declining economy, the exchange rates are definitely higher
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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To illustrate, with the increasing
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
 of
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 dollar against
Malaysian
Correct article usage
the Malaysian
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 Ringgit; American-owned
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
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 like HM
is
Wrong verb form
have been
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 getting expensive throughout
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 few decades.
As a result
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,
citezens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 could not afford the
product
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 anymore as it
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 out of their budget.
To sum up
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, global expansion may cause discomfort to
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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due to
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increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
product’s
Change noun form
product
show examples
 prices. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 disagree with opening the same stores across the globe,
this
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 method has
overall
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 played a vital role in increasing a company’s sales.
Therefore
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,it is evident that opening shops in each country is necessary, even if it may have some setbacks for consumers.After a thorough analysis of
this
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 topic, brand owners could sell their products online to reach a wider audience.
Submitted by alisyashazzy on

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving paragraph transitions. While each paragraph is individually structured, smoother transitions could enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make your points more compelling. You can provide more detail or additional examples to illustrate your arguments better.
language
Be cautious with small grammatical errors, as there are a few instances where tenses and subject-verb agreements should be revised.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples, which help illustrate your points effectively.
task achievement
The discussion addresses both perspectives of the topic, showing a balanced understanding.
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