IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country.Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #manager #company’s
Dear sir, I am writing
this
 letter with regard to change in my work location from current to head office for six months.
To begin
 with, my name is Parthkumar Parmar and I have been working for
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two years as a team leader in your organization.
Moreover
, I would like to join our head office for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain period of time to gain valuable experience and skills.
Apart from
this
,my role in the current branch will be
covred
Correct your spelling
covered
 by one of my friends,who
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 expertise in our areas.Even though,I am always available for any assistance during
this
 period. I will send his resume
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your
emial
Correct your spelling
email
 address,so it is up to you to hire him or someone else.
Lastly
,I am requesting you to make the arrangements for the six months,so I can add valuable experience
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my resume.
After
this
 period, I will join my regular branch without any break. Please let me know if you require any
further
 information. Yours sincerely, Parthkumar Parmar
Submitted by pp6859 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, try to use clearer topic sentences and ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help in maintaining a single idea per paragraph and improve logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or justifications to strengthen your task response. This will help convey your reasons more convincingly and showcase a more complete response.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed each part of the task, clearly explaining your purpose, how your work will be managed, and requesting assistance.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and appropriate for a professional setting, which is suitable for writing to a manager.
coherence cohesion
You used a clear greeting and closing, which adds to the overall structure of your letter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional development
  • global operations
  • cross-functional
  • remote work
  • progress updates
  • logistical arrangements
  • cultural exchange
  • continuity plan
  • enhance my skillset
  • broaden my horizons
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