IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that radio is the best source to get news while other think that television is better for this purpose. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #radio #source #news #television #purpose
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There is no denying the fact that
threre
Correct your spelling
there
 are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of different ways to get news.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
radio
Use synonyms
 is the best way to know the news as some people say , there is
also
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 an argument that says that TV is much better to keep in catch on everything.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. on
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, TV could be better than
radio
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 because you can listen and watch at the same time.
In other words
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 ,
in
Change preposition
on
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Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the radio
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radio
Add a comma
radio,
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 you just can listen to info but
in
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on
show examples
 the television
Add a comma
,
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you can see the exact scene .
In addition
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, it is so easy to use because you just have to press the button and it will start.
For example
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 Chernobyl disaster when you see the place and the movie that they did about it you will be able to
undersatand
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understand
 more.
On the other hand
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 ,
radio
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 might be something that older people would prefer because they get used to it . it is
also
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 possible to say that , they spend their whole life
useing
Correct your spelling
using
 it so they find it much easier than television
On the contrary
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, young people find it more difficult to use. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
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however
hoever
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however
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 tend to believe that Modern ways
to watch
Change preposition
of watching
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news
Add an article
the news
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 are better than old ways
Submitted by daliahmohsn9 on

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example advice
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you mentioned the Chernobyl disaster but didn't fully explain how TV coverage of it was superior to radio coverage.
clarity advice
Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive throughout the essay. Some sentences could be phrased more clearly to improve clarity.
general advice
Remember to capitalize the first letter of sentences and proper nouns for proper formatting.
introduction highlight
The introduction clearly sets out the topic and discusses both viewpoints.
structure highlight
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
conclusion highlight
The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and states your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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