some says that the most important thing about being rich is the one has oppertunity to help others. To what extwnt do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt, that being, wealthy has become a common thing nowadays. Everyone is running
mad
rat race behind money. Well, many could Correct article usage
a mad
bwe
helped by the richest guys. I agree with the statement. I shall shed light upon it by covering a lot of ground in Correct your spelling
be
further
paragraphs.
To begin
with, for the betterment of society, a number of charity and philanthropy work could be done by an affluent person, which may address the social inequalities and assist those in need. By providing
, Change preposition
Providing
individuals
support means educational initiatives, Fix the agreement mistake
individual
contributions
could be put Correct word choice
and contributions
by
the richest human to create an Change preposition
in by
educationl
and skilled population in the coming, generation. By serving Correct your spelling
educational
to
poor students, those Change preposition
apply
can
not afford studies, but Correct pronoun usage
who can
having
Wrong verb form
have
talent
to be successful in their Change the article
the talent
life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Moreover
, numerous other aspects, those
could be Correct determiner usage
apply
encourged
by opulents. Correct your spelling
encouraged
such
as health , culture, sports and many more. Although
, some NGO's
have been Change noun form
NGOs
running
by Wrong verb form
run
some
wealthy personalities, through Correct quantifier usage
apply
which
organizations plenteous people are getting a sigh of relief as taking help from them. The other level of assistance, Correct pronoun usage
these
population
is Add an article
the population
obtaining
from some famous personalities, those have Wrong verb form
obtained
requirement
. Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
For example
, Kiran Mazumdar Shaw, who is providing affordable cancer treatment to poor families those
are financially and emotionally crippled by the disease.
In Correct pronoun usage
who
conclusin
, it can be said that, as having enough money, help should be Correct your spelling
conclusion
done
Verb problem
given
by
rich humans as Change preposition
to
other
can Fix the agreement mistake
others
also
fulfill
their desires and can have a better life.Change the spelling
fulfil
Submitted by amandeepkaur6581 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
language
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical and spelling errors to enhance clarity, such as 'bwe' instead of 'be', and 'extwnt' instead of 'extent'.
task achievement
Some arguments could be elaborated further for better comprehension. Try to develop your ideas more fully and clearly in each paragraph.
task achievement
Ensure your supporting examples clearly align with the main points you're making for more effective argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve logical flow by using more varied linking words for smoother transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the discussion well, which helps in organizing your thoughts and ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the question directly and offered a complete response by discussing how wealthy individuals can support various sectors such as education and healthcare.
task achievement
Real-life examples like Kiran Mazumdar Shaw’s charity work give a concrete foundation to your arguments, making them more convincing and relatable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!