some says that the most important thing about being rich is the one has oppertunity to help others. To what extwnt do you agree or disagree?

#oppertunity #extwnt

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There is no doubt, that being, wealthy has become a common thing nowadays. Everyone is running

mad

Correct article usage

a mad

show examples

rat race behind money. Well, many could

bwe

Correct your spelling

helped by the richest guys. I agree with the statement. I shall shed light upon it by covering a lot of ground in

further

paragraphs.

To begin

with, for the betterment of society, a number of charity and philanthropy work could be done by an affluent person, which may address the social inequalities and assist those in need.

By providing

Change preposition

Providing

show examples

individuals

Fix the agreement mistake

individual

show examples

support means educational initiatives,

contributions

Correct word choice

and contributions

show examples

could be put

Change preposition

in by

show examples

the richest human to create an

educationl

Correct your spelling

educational

and skilled population in the coming, generation. By serving

Change preposition

apply

show examples

poor students, those

can

Correct pronoun usage

who can

show examples

not afford studies, but

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

talent

Change the article

the talent

show examples

to be successful in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Moreover

, numerous other aspects,

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

could be

encourged

Correct your spelling

encouraged

by opulents.

such

as health , culture, sports and many more.

Although

, some

NGO's

Change noun form

NGOs

show examples

have been

running

Wrong verb form

run

show examples

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

wealthy personalities, through

which

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

organizations plenteous people are getting a sigh of relief as taking help from them. The other level of assistance,

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

obtaining

Wrong verb form

obtained

show examples

from some famous personalities, those have

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

For example

, Kiran Mazumdar Shaw, who is providing affordable cancer treatment to poor families

those

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are financially and emotionally crippled by the disease. In

conclusin

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, it can be said that, as having enough money, help should be

done

Verb problem

given

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

rich humans as

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

can

also

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their desires and can have a better life.

Submitted by amandeepkaur6581 on Thu Oct 03 2024

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language

Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical and spelling errors to enhance clarity, such as 'bwe' instead of 'be', and 'extwnt' instead of 'extent'.

task achievement

Some arguments could be elaborated further for better comprehension. Try to develop your ideas more fully and clearly in each paragraph.

task achievement

Ensure your supporting examples clearly align with the main points you're making for more effective argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve logical flow by using more varied linking words for smoother transitions between ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the discussion well, which helps in organizing your thoughts and ideas.

task achievement

You have addressed the question directly and offered a complete response by discussing how wealthy individuals can support various sectors such as education and healthcare.

task achievement

Real-life examples like Kiran Mazumdar Shaw’s charity work give a concrete foundation to your arguments, making them more convincing and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

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some says that the most important thing about being rich is the one has oppertunity to help others. To what extwnt do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Write about the following topic Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer

Some people think that, to learn about other countries, traveling abroad is necessary while others think that is not necessary because TV and the internet can give the same information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?