The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It goes without saying that average
people
's
health
standards lower in the
future
from now. An argument has been put forward that
people
's
health
standards will be lower in the near
future
than now. In my opinion,
this
statement holds a valid ground. There are many reasons why I agree with the given statement.
To begin
with unhealthy
food
available in the market. The main reason for unhealthy
food
available in the market or street is the lack of knowledge about
health
issues
.
Furthermore
, environmental pollution with different dangerous gasses these gasses are dangerous for our
health
that exist in the
air
it'll
also
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
in
people
. What is more, using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine
without a doctor's precaution is the most dangerous is
people
are using the
medicine
without doctor precaution and it is
also
causingalso
Correct your spelling
causing also
cause
health
issues
in upcoming years.
Moreover
,
junk
food
,
people
are eating
junk
or fast
food
like burgers pizza, etc
that is
also
by
health
issue
for
people
.
Furthermore
, most
people
take cigarettes and other things these are
also
caused by very serious there mental and physical
issues
.
Lastly
, that's water, Water
also
affects their skin and body it is a serious
issue
.
However
, some
people
might argue that
people
's
health
will not improve in
future
they believe that
junk
food
does not harm
people
it will not cause
health
issues
.
According to
the
people
do exercise and their
health
will be good.
In addition
to
this
, They
also
say that
medicine
will recover their
health
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
although
the
air
is polluted it's caused a serious
issue
but trees will reduce the polluted
air
.
Therefore
in my opinion
people
will be healthy in the
future
due to
air
,
junk
food
, wrong
medicine
, water etc.
Submitted by saifkhandik1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure your arguments are logically structured and connected. You can use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Try to provide specific examples for your points. This will make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your main ideas. Some of the points are not entirely clear or comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Conclude with a clear summary of your main points or arguments. This helps strengthen the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You have made an effort to address the task by providing reasons and potential scenarios about future health standards.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and a conclusion, which are key components of an essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: