More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #foods

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There is an opinion asserting that a lot can be

inferrend

Correct your spelling

inferred

from the way people

heve

Correct your spelling

have

diet. These interpretations can provide us insights into

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

habits to eat and traditional foods. Some people

whould

Correct your spelling

would

suggest that overweight can be dropped significantly by increasing the cost of fattening foods. I,

however

, disagree with the given statement on the basis of financial constraints and

other group

Change the wording

another group

other groups

show examples

of people who need to have fat and put their

whight

Correct your spelling

weight

Change preposition

on.

show examples

Submitted by takhtejamshid1400historikal on Thu Oct 03 2024

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task response

Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the task. Here, the response only partially addresses the topic and arguments. You should ideally discuss the idea of increasing food prices more thoroughly, perhaps exploring both sides of the argument.

task response

Develop your main ideas further and support them with relevant and specific examples. This helps in clarifying your perspective and makes your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on providing a clear introduction and conclusion. The current essay lacks a structured introduction that outlines the main ideas you will discuss. Similarly, it should conclude your perspective clearly, reaffirming your stance on the issue.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your arguments. Organizing your thoughts into separate paragraphs with topic sentences for each idea could enhance the flow and logic.

coherence cohesion

Consider explaining financial constraints more, and discuss why certain groups need fatty foods, to make your arguments stronger and more cohesive.

task response

You have successfully identified some key points, including the concept of financial constraints and the varying needs for dietary fat, which shows an understanding of the complexities of the issue.

task response

Your writing hints at consideration for real-world implications of policy changes, such as food price increases, which is a good start towards a comprehensive discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

76 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in any country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Q. Cases of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think are the cause of this? How can we tackle this issue?

in some cultures, childeren are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Anyone can use a mobile phone to answer the work call and home call at any place, or 7 days a week. Do you think there are more negative or positive effects on both individuals and society?

Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?