Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, more and more
children
spend excessive
time
on their
smartphones
every day. There are several reasons leading to the case, which I think is a negative development. Some reasons
are contributed
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contribute
show examples
to
this
habit for young people.
First,
due to
the advancement of technology,
children
become more
rely
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reliant
show examples
on their
phones
to learn new knowledge.
For example
, Chatgpt is widely used by
younger
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the younger
a younger
show examples
generation, with
the
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apply
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intelligent and timely
reply
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replies
show examples
,
children
can make use of these novel tools on
there
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their
show examples
smartphones
to improve their learning.
Also
,
children
are easy to be obsessed with entertaining functions of
phones
,
such
as mobile games and social media, which is hard to quit. Without
cellphones
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cell phones
show examples
, lots of pleasure will disappear
to
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apply
show examples
them
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apply
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. Despite the educational and amusing features of
smartphones
, for me, it is a negative
phenomena
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phenomenon
show examples
that may do harm to
children
. The over-reliance
of
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on
show examples
searching
information
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for information
show examples
using their
phones
may cause detrimental effects.
While
the information on the Internet may not be accurate all the
time
,
children
, who haven't developed their critical thinking, will not filter the knowledge they saw and may
misinterprete
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misinterpret
misinterpreted
the information.
For instance
, young
children
may learn ways to lose weight when spending
time
on
the
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apply
show examples
smartphones
.
However
, many of the methods may damage
children
's health, leading to eating disorders or anxiety.
In addition
,
children
are not mature
enought
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enough
to
controll
Correct your spelling
control
their
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the
show examples
hours
spending
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spent
show examples
on scrolling
the
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their
show examples
phones
, which may influence their physical and mental health.
According to
the news,
children
will play on
thier
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their
phones
at sleeping
time
, with the light closed.
This
turn
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turns
show examples
out to be a serious problem for
children
, which causes eye problems much earlier. In conclusion, spending
to
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too
show examples
much
time
on
smartphones
may
associate
Wrong verb form
be associated
show examples
with physical and mental problems for young
children
, which is a negative development.
Submitted by lovesonya0227 on

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Grammar
Ensure precision in language, as some minor grammatical mistakes are present.
Language Use
Enhance explanation of points with more detail and varied vocabulary to increase clarity.
Structure
The essay presents a balanced argument by acknowledging both the reasons for the behavior and its negative impacts.
Structure
Introduction and conclusion are well-crafted to provide a clear overview and summary of the topic respectively.
Examples
The essay uses relevant examples that provide a practical context to the arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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