It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

Taking

risks

both

professional and personal lives can be a key factor in achieving success.

Although

taking

risks

may involve challenges and new problems, the benefits may outweigh the drawbacks.

This

essay will examine

both

the advantages and disadvantages of taking

risks

. One of the main benefits of risk-taking is personal and professional growth. In careers, those who can step out of their comfort zones can discover new opportunities and develop skills that lead to greater achievements, new experiences, and

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

For instance

, professionals who take

risks

by switching industries, taking on leadership roles, or

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

starting a new business may face a few hiccups

Change preposition

show examples

their way, but

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

hiccups can

be use

Change the verb form

be used

show examples

as a way to discover new ways of thinking when facing certain problems and

also

developing new valuable skills that set them apart from others.

Similarly

, in personal life, embracing risk,

such

as moving to a new city or pursuing a passion, can bring

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

and self-discovery.

While

it offers benefits, some people might argue that taking

risks

may guide you to failure, which

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a very significant impact

Change preposition

show examples

both

personal and professional. In a professional setting, taking

risks

may create a financial loss, especially if investments are made without enough research. Entrepreneurs,

for example

, pour a significant amount of money if they are starting a business or creating a new product, only to find it not

Fix the infinitive

to be

show examples

successful and may lead them to bankruptcy. In

personal

Correct pronoun usage

my personal

show examples

life, the emotional

risks

of taking bold steps on taking new steps can actually be daunting. Entering new relationships can expose someone to the possibility of emotional pain or disappointment if things do not work out as expected. Despite these drawbacks, the rewards of pursuing

risks

usually outweigh the disadvantages.

Risks

open doors to new experiences and opportunities that would not exist

otherwise

. In conclusion,

while

risks

carry potential downsides, their ability to foster growth and create opportunities makes them crucial in

both

personal and professional life.

Submitted by riani.the2 on Thu Oct 03 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance clarity and coherence, work on minimizing repetitive language and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas.

Task Achievement

While the examples provided are helpful, they could be more specific to strengthen your argument further.

Coherence and Cohesion

You've effectively included an introduction and conclusion, providing a clear framework for your essay.

Task Achievement

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the question by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attantion to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem ?

Many people lose their income due to CoVid19 pandemic. What solution that can do by government or individual to overcome this problem.

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.