Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In recent years, it has become increasingly common for

children

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to spend a lot of

time

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on their

smartphones

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This

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phenomenon can happen because of several factors, including the rise of mobile entertainment, social

media

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, and educational apps,

as well as

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the widespread availability of

smartphones

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This

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essay explains that

this

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is a negative development

due to

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its potential effects on their health and social skills. One reason

children

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spend hours on their

smartphones

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is the never-ending entertainment that can be accessed at any

time

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. Mobile games,

for example

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, have bright

colors

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colours

show examples

and engaging graphics that

keeps

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keep

show examples

the user hooked. Other than that, social

media

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also

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plays a big part. Users can communicate and share photos from people all over the world without needing to meet them directly.

Additionally

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, educational apps and online learning platforms make

smartphones

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a tool for studying,

further

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encouraging

children

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to spend

time

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on these devices for both leisure and learning.

However

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this

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behavior

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behaviour

show examples

can have a negative effect on their health.

Children

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who spend too much

time

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on their devices may struggle with face-to-face communication. Constant engagement with virtual worlds and social

media

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can reduce real-life interactions, which are crucial for building social intelligence and emotional resilience.

This

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may

also

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contribute to feelings of loneliness and anxiety, as social

media

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can sometimes create unrealistic standards and lead to comparison or social pressure. In conclusion,

while

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smartphones

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may provide

children

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with entertainment and learning materials, I believe that spending hours on these devices each day has a negative impact. It can affect physical health and social skills.

Therefore

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, it is important for parents and educators to control and encourage more balanced activities that promote healthy growth in

children

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riani.the2Thu Oct 03 2024

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relevant specific examples

Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mention particular studies, statistics, or expert opinions that describe the negative impacts of smartphone usage on children's health or social interactions.

supported main points

While the structure is generally good, ensure each point is fully developed with clear evidence or examples. This will strengthen the argument and improve the essay's overall impact.

logical structure

The essay flows logically from introduction through conclusion, effectively explaining why children spend time on smartphones and exploring the consequences.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear outline of the essay and summarizing the main argument effectively.

complete response

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear opinion on the issue and adequately discussing both the reasons and implications of the situation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems do this cause? What are solutions?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation，such as an unsatisfactory job or lack of money . Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

It student, were given tie choce between not to study and study Most of the time They would Choose not to study. Do you agree or disagree with the following Statements?

Some people think secondary school students should learn international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.