It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a breakdown in family relationships and communication. To what extent do you agree?
Having a personal technological device has become popular among some demographics of society. It is thought by some people as a threat to family bonds. Considering the importance of
tehcnology
Correct your spelling
technology
on
our daily Change preposition
in
life
, I do not agree with Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
statement, which this
essay further
elaborates on.
Firstly
, it should be acknowledge
that excessive using of Change the verb form
be acknowledged
technology
can be resulted
in not only less quality Wrong verb form
result
relasionship
, but Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
also
some health
concerns may appear. In other words
, exposuring
constant radiating can lead to Correct your spelling
exposing
exposure
sedentary
lifestyle and deteriorated Correct article usage
a sedentary
eye sight
. Yet, Correct your spelling
eyesight
this
issue can be mitigate
by setting some rules. Change the verb form
be mitigated
For example
, parents could organize outdoor activities which do not include screen-time, or determine time limits so that their children might pay attention to their lesson
and spend much time with their peers or family.
One thing should be taken into account Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
that
it is almost impossible to imagine our contemporary life without Correct word choice
apply
technology
. Technology
plays an integral role in every field, such
as education, health
, sports
. Correct word choice
and sports
For example
, nearly all lessons had shifted to videoconferance
during covid-19 pandemic, in other Correct your spelling
videoconference
video conference
case
doctors can easily determine the real cause of any Fix the agreement mistake
cases
health
problems of their patients. Therefore
, being fully aware of technology
may create beneficial results for us. The more having laptop
means the more people have IT skills. Correct article usage
a laptop
Thus
, it is better to own personal
device for every Correct article usage
a personal
invidual
in Correct your spelling
individual
family
.
In conclusion, Add an article
the family
while
technology
could bring some problems in terms of health
and relationship
, bearing in mind how technological skills are crucial in today's world, I do not support that statement Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
due to
the reasons mentioned above.Submitted by agayevnamiq842 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and well-organized structure with clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Attempt to provide more detailed examples that are directly related to family relationships to enhance the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
A well-defined introduction and conclusion frame the essay effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains clear ideas, which are mostly conveyed in a logical sequence.
Task Achievement
The topic is approached from multiple angles, showing an understanding of its complexity.
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