IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Being a celebrity - such as a movie star or professional athlete - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or drawbacks?

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There is no denying the fact that living as a famous person could have disadvantages more than advantages. I agree with
this
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 statement, it has more drawbacks. In
this
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 essay, I will talk about
this
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 problem and express my opinion. On the one hand, it is almost impossible to go to the supermarket safely.
In other words
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, if you are a movie star and everyone knows you, you will be chased everywhere and can not live your day
as
Change preposition
apply
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like the other humans.
In addition
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, it is obvious if you have fans you
also
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 have haters.
For example
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, your haters will try to find you anywhere just to curse you or want to steal you because
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 did not like you in the show, and
thats
Correct your spelling
that
 an enormous problem most
of
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apply
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celebrities face.
On the other hand
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, the
celebrity
Change noun form
celebrity's
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 future is not safe in the financial situation. It is
also
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 possible to say that, the famous person could lose all of his money in one night like the footballer Ronaldinho, he kept gambling all of his money in one day and he ended up in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail.
Moreover
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, all people
wants
Change the verb form
want
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 to be friends with you just
because
Add the preposition
because of
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 your money.
For instance
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, more than 50% of celebrities mentioned that everybody
want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to be their friend just because they are famous or rich. In conclusion, I consider that there are many problems
to
Change preposition
with
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 being a celebrity and I prefer to be a normal person living life without being disturbed by haters.

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task achievement
Try to develop ideas more fully with additional details.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.
task achievement
The task is adequately addressed, discussing both benefits and drawbacks of being a celebrity.
coherence cohesion
A variety of sentences are used effectively to maintain the reader’s interest.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • duality
  • acknowledged
  • accrue
  • endorsements
  • sponsorships
  • influential
  • recognition
  • admiration
  • privileged
  • exclusive
  • luxury
  • privacy invasion
  • paparazzi
  • scrutiny
  • pressure
  • exploitation
  • unscrupulous
  • mental health issues
  • public image
  • perks
  • impact
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