ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In a few nations, youth
decides
Correct subject-verb agreement
decide
show examples
to do apprenticeships
instead
of opting for higher
education
.
Although
vocational training is a cost-effective option, the
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
career prospects benefit from university
education
.
Therefore
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
going to college is essential for
adoloscents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
considering
downside
Add an article
the downside
show examples
of lack of
education
. The major advantage of choosing vocational training over studying is cost-effectiveness, as university
education
is expensive and students have to apply for
education
loans.
For instance
,
instead
of applying for loans to study
further
for pursuing
Change preposition
to pursue
show examples
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
as an automotive technician, individuals can directly seek 6000 hours of apprenticeship and attain a similar status.
Also
, students start earning right away after secondary school by working full-time.
Thus
, work-based training is a feasible option, saving people a lot of money.
Nevertheless
, the job opportunities and salaries offered are directly proportional to the educational qualifications alongside work experience.
For example
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of the top executives of companies are recruited on
basis
Correct article usage
the basis
show examples
of
their
Change the word
the
show examples
qualifications listed on their job resumes.
Additionally
, through schooling people build connections and gain knowledge;
hence
, to achieve goals and higher positions on
professional
Add an article
the professional
a professional
show examples
front, studying is crucial. In conclusion, most of the youth choose to do vocational
traning
Correct your spelling
training
instead
of schooling. Whilst, it provides them monetary relief, as they start earning at a young age and don't have to take loans for
education
, pursuing a degree is still
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for attaining high salary packages and attracting good job prospects.
Consequenlty
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, from my perspective, it is a viable option to opt for a degree before gaining
hands-on-experience
Correct your spelling
hands-on experience
show examples
.
Submitted by bidingmehakjot on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay provides a thoughtful response but can expand on specific examples to make the argument stronger. Consider incorporating more detailed examples to support your points, especially about long-term career benefits through higher education.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, consider improving transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow and coherence of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed. The essay mostly provides a balanced view but leans more towards the advantages of university education. It might be beneficial to acknowledge the reasons someone might still choose vocational training despite these advantages.
task achievement
The essay effectively balances the discussion of advantages and disadvantages, showing an understanding of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion is well-presented, effectively summarizing the discussion and stating a clear position.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates commendable structure, covering different aspects of the issue.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: