IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #limit #amount #food #import #products #country
With the de-globalisation progressing, regional
protectionism
 is spreading in many sections, one of which is
food
 supply. Some people have even argued that we should boycott importing
food
 and completely depend on domestic agricultural products.
This
 opinion is understandable when given the competition domestic farmers are under, but it is not reasonable and practicable as we are living in a society which has never been so interdependent on each other. The basic and essential fact that we humans are radically reliant on each other in the issue of the
food
 supply is often covered by the so mature collaborative mechanisms that we wrongly preassume that we can be independent of other countries.
For example
, many people assume that China is self-subsistent in soybeans as there are few importing data in records published by Customs.
However
, in reality, soybeans are imported in the form of oil calculated by millions of tons.
This
 edible oil is a definite indication of
food
-related dependence, but it is so often ignored that provokes people to assert that importing
food
 is merely superabundance. But note that when analysing
this
 issue, I am not intent on farmers' "ignorance".
Instead
, I can totally understand their wish to replace all imported
food
 with domestic products.
This
 is happening in Poland where farmers are suffering from the influx of Ukraine's wheat, which is a part of the aid pacts for Ukraine. Poland's wheat price has been decreasing for over fourteen months, on which many rural families' lives depend, how could we blame them for appealing for
protectionism
?
Nevertheless
, I still insist that conflicts and corresponding
protectionism
 are temporary, but cooperation and collaboration between different countries are permanent and essential. We should concentrate on how to get through it
instead
 of reinforcing it. To summarise, conflicts and tensions across the world are stimulating all forms of
protectionism
, surely including the boycott of foreign
food
. But we should not justify or even strengthen
this
 trend since we have been so closely connected with the members of the global community that any break will pose serious issues.
Submitted by hx88375757 on

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task achievement
Provide clear examples or statistics to strengthen the argument, especially when mentioning countries like Poland or concepts like import dependency.
task achievement
Make sure to develop the points further to cover different perspectives on food import regulations, such as economic impacts, cultural effects, or environmental concerns.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs, ensuring each paragraph connects smoothly with the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction, setting the stage for the discussion about food importation and regional protectionism.
coherence cohesion
The arguments are logically structured, with the introduction and conclusion effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
Demonstrates an understanding of global interdependence and effectively argues against overly protectionist policies.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestically produced food
  • agricultural sector
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • food security
  • global market fluctuations
  • trade disputes
  • local food production
  • dietary variety
  • international trade relations
  • retaliation
  • exports
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