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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A person's success nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness, and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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While
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 it's true that contemporary society often places significant emphasis on social status and material possessions as markers of
success
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, I disagree with the notion that old-fashioned
values
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 like
honor
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honour
show examples
, kindness, and
trust
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 have become obsolete. These
values
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 remain crucial pillars of a fulfilling and meaningful life, even if they may not always receive as much attention in the mainstream narrative of
success
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.
Firstly
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, it's important to recognize that societal priorities and trends can vary widely depending on cultural, geographical, and individual factors.
While
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 some communities may indeed
prioritize
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 material wealth and social standing, many others still highly value integrity, compassion, and authenticity.
Moreover
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, the enduring popularity of literature, films, and other forms of media that celebrate these traditional
values
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 suggests that they continue to resonate deeply with people across generations. Stories of courage, sacrifice, and moral integrity often capture our imagination and inspire us precisely because they reaffirm the timeless importance of
honor
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honour
show examples
, kindness, and
trust
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.
Furthermore
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, in personal relationships and professional environments alike, these old-fashioned
values
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 play a crucial role in fostering
trust
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, cooperation, and mutual respect. Individuals who demonstrate honesty, empathy, and reliability are often held in high esteem, regardless of their material wealth or social status. In fact, possessing these qualities can be instrumental in achieving long-term
success
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 and
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
, as they contribute to healthy relationships, effective teamwork, and a positive reputation.
For example
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, consider the
success
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 of companies that
prioritize
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 ethical business practices and
prioritize
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 employee well-being over maximizing profits. These organizations often enjoy strong customer loyalty, attract top talent, and weather crises more effectively than those solely focused on short-term gains. In conclusion,
while
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 contemporary society may sometimes seem to
prioritize
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 materialism and social status, the enduring importance of old-fashioned
values
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 like
honor
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honour
show examples
, kindness, and
trust
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 cannot be overlooked. These
values
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 not only enrich our personal lives but
also
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 contribute to a more cohesive and ethical society.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and stays focused on the topic throughout. However, further development of specific examples could enhance your arguments, making them even more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and easy to follow. Each paragraph flows well into the next. To reach an even higher score, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted and frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points are clearly stated and supported with relevant arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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