Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree? Write your argumentative essay.
#effects #health #lifestyle #university #students #school #children #sports #activities #times #week #argumentative
Education, per se, has made us what we are, master of the universe.
Furthermore
, the
Correct article usage
apply
sclool
life is significant and Correct your spelling
school
presious
following Correct your spelling
precious
previous
the
adult life.
Admitting that there is always the other side of the coin of advantages or disadvantages to Correct article usage
apply
this
question statement, the answer varies from person to person, depeding
on the value systems or the personal traits. All in all, I agree Correct your spelling
depending
with
that students should Change preposition
apply
excercise
in their school.
Correct your spelling
exercise
Fisrt
and foremost, I believe that Correct your spelling
First
sports
activities help us maintain fit. Furthermore
, many scientists and papers claim that excercise
enables us Correct your spelling
exercise
improve
our productivity and concentration. Add the particle
to improve
Although
I do not decide whether the minum
Correct your spelling
minimum
at
3 times per week for Change preposition
of
sports
is sufficient or not, regularly moving bodies has benefit
for students’ performance. Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Besides
, it is not only a temporary merit in school life but also
asset
through Correct article usage
an asset
lifetime
to work Add an article
a lifetime
with
Change preposition
in
healthy
state.
Correct article usage
a healthy
Secondly
, that having been mentioned, I would like to hasten to add that sports
activities endowing students’ mental health good effects. Most students who prepare for getting good scores or entering their promissing
schools tend to feel Correct your spelling
promising
isolate
. To Change the form of the verb
isolated
adress
that, it is efficient to do team Correct your spelling
address
sports
, like football and volleyball. Team sports
need our cooperation each
other and improve Change preposition
with each
realtionship
between friends. Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
Thus
, their motivation for their tasks can maintain
.Wrong verb form
be maintained
Submitted by hide8335 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Your essay generally responds to the task, but there is room for more elaboration. Consider adding more specific examples to support your arguments and make your points more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on refining your logical flow. Some paragraphs require clearer topic sentences and transitions. This will help guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay does have an introduction and addresses the conclusion implicitly, a more explicit conclusion would help frame your argument and reinforce your stance.
Task Response
Try to express your ideas with more precision and clarity. Some sentences are complex and a bit unclear. Simplifying these and focusing on one idea per sentence can enhance understanding.
Task Response
Your essay has a clear stance and you maintain this position throughout, showing a consistent point of view.
Coherence and Cohesion
You use connective words like 'furthermore' and 'although' effectively to link your ideas together, which helps in maintaining cohesion across parts of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.