IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #limit #amount #food #import #products #country
Other people point out that a nation must limit the amount of
food
 they import from other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 and consume products solely from their own
country
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I strongly agree
on
Change preposition
with
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 patronizing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local products in order to limit the import of goods from
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
. One of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 buying
food
 from other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 is
due to
food
 shortage. Meanwhile, when the government
will look
Wrong verb form
looks
show examples
 closely into the root cause of the problem, they may see and develop solutions to improve the nation.
Due to
this
 idea of regulation, the economic cycle of
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 industry and agricultural sector may improve. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, the governing body may implement programs to boost the farmers and improve their crops.
This
 will result
to
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in
show examples
 a better harvest, improved farming
technique
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techniques
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 and
additonal
Correct your spelling
additional
 income. Another reason why I strongly agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
limitation
Correct article usage
the limitation
show examples
 of importation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is to make consumers patronize local products.
In addition
, it will help the
country
 to have
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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 independent economy
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 empowers local and small business owners rather than helping established huge companies.
For example
,
the
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apply
show examples
small businesses will strive and be sustainable.
Due to
this
 the market industry will have
a
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apply
show examples
space and growth for small start-up
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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.
Overall
, limiting
importation
Add an article
the importation
show examples
 of
food
 may encounter difficulty at
first,
but
eventually
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eventually,
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 I believe it
help
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helps
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 the
country
's economy in the long run.
This
 sustainability and form of progress may be possible by boosting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture and local businesses.
Submitted by emmagallares on

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task achievement
Your introduction sets up your position well. You could further elaborate on why the local consumption is crucial to ensure the reader fully understands your stance.
task achievement
In your first body paragraph, you identify food shortages as a reason for importing goods; however, the point could be strengthened by detailing how local production could adequately compensate for such shortages.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your claims about the benefits of boosting the local economy and agricultural sector.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Adding connectors such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', or 'In addition' can help in linking ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is effective but could re-emphasize the vital role local agriculture plays in economic sustainability, tying back to your main thesis for stronger cohesion.
task achievement
Your arguments clearly support the viewpoint that local products should be prioritized to limit imports, showing clear comprehension of the task.
coherence cohesion
You maintained a logical flow of ideas that supports your argument from introduction to conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively identified key reasons why local consumption can benefit the economy such as improving agriculture and supporting small businesses.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestically produced food
  • agricultural sector
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • food security
  • global market fluctuations
  • trade disputes
  • local food production
  • dietary variety
  • international trade relations
  • retaliation
  • exports
What to do next:
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