The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate information about the purpose of
energy
usage in an average
Austrailian
Correct your spelling
Australian
household and the amount of greenhouse gas
emissions
which are released from
this
energy
use.
Overall
, the
energy
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed for heating is the most in Australia.
In addition
,
water
heating accounts
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
second proportion in total,
while
it makes the most
emissions
.
To begin
from the first pie chart, heating and
water
heating are households that consume
energy
the most in surveyed activities, accounting
about
Change preposition
for about
show examples
three
fouth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
at 42% and 30%
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
. Meanwhile, other households use the amount of
energy
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
unconsiderable with refrigeration at 7%, lighting at 4% and cooling at 2%. The rest is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
half of the
energy
for
water
heating. Turning toward
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the second graph, it is worth noting that
water
heating is ranked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
using
energy
,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
it is the main reason which is
polluted
Replace the word
pollution
show examples
in Australia, which accounts
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
third
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
total
emissions
.
Moreover
, refrigeration and other appliances
also
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
more
greenhousegas
Correct your spelling
greenhouse gas
greenhouse-gas
greenhouses
gas at 14% and 28%,
while
it only consumes about 7% and 15%
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
total
energy
.
By contrast
, the
energy
for heating is the most
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, the
emisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
of it is only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the
emissions
of
water
heating.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, emissions, water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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