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Band 7.5

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decisions
Without a shadow of a doubt, making
decisions
 has widespread effects on future lifestyles. A group of people put
this
 idea forward that
children
 can choose everything they need but these choices lead to them becoming selfish,
while
 some others disagree saying adolescents must choose matters
such
 as nutrition, clothes, and recreation that can impact them. Both schools of thought,
due to
 the prominent values they carry, are apt to be taken into account. Regarding the first case, it is believed that allowing
children
 to make their own decision can lead to self-drive
children
 who don’t care about their parent’s permission. If parents let them be on their own, they would never listen to their parent’s orders again and it can cause some serious problems for them.
For example
,
children
 possibly choosing junk foods can lead to dangerous health issues.
Consequently
,
this
 action would result in future health diseases. With respect to the second viewpoint, allowing
children
 to make their own
decisions
 has several advantages. One of them is that they can learn to recognize both the positive and negative consequences of their
decisions
.
For instance
, a child who learns to choose their clothes may become familiar with the best clothing brands.
As a result
, they can make better purchases in the future. Ultimately, they will be able to choose the best action in challenging situations and steer their lives in the right direction. In conclusion, despite some opposition to not limiting
children
 from making their own
decisions
, I strongly believe that there are valuable lessons in allowing juveniles to make their own
decisions
,
such
 as learning how to develop good strategies in difficult situations.
Submitted by m.rezakarami69 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task response, consider providing more specific examples that further distinguish between the two viewpoints. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay can further improve coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between supporting points and explaining more fully how they relate to the main point. Strive for each paragraph to flow naturally into the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively set up and wrap up your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've maintained a logical structure throughout the essay, which aids in conveying your argument clearly.
Task Achievement
Your essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
What to do next:
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