IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It has been more than 30 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money while some people don't. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

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he
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The
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 effectiveness of
space
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research
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 and its outcomes currently seem debatable. Some people believe that the exploration of
space
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 is a waste of money
while
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 some believe that it is much needed for the survival of humanity. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and state my own opinion. On one hand,
space
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 exploration consumes billions of dollars
while
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 the outcomes remain unpredictable.
For example
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, building a
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space craft
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spacecraft
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, finding the right fuel, and hiring innovative human
resources
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 are not necessarily simple tasks
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while
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apply
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there are very few companies that succeed in their efforts and most undergo bankruptcy causing havoc in the economy.
For instance
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, during the moon landing USA had an upper hand in
space
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research
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along with
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 Russia but in
the
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apply
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recent years China, India and many other countries have got involved in
this
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 area which will collectively affect the global economy.
On the other hand
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, the earth is running out of
resources
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due to
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 excess mining. The competition has reached a point in which global competition is exponentially increasing year by year
. .
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.
...
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In addition
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, investing in
space
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research
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 probably could find
another
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other
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 potential
resourceres
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resources
in
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on
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 the moon or Mars to collect materials to meet
demands
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the demands
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 of an ever-increasing population.
However
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, the initial planning will depend on
resources
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 on
this
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 planet which needs to be cautiously managed. In conclusion, I lean towards the opinion that
space
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research
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 is not a complete waste.
However
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, there are extra steps that need to be taken by individuals who are involved in it to minimize the wastage of
resources
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 and
earth
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the earth
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 and limit the rate of progress until a sustainable model is invented for an exponential extraction of
space
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.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points and counterpoints. Providing clearer examples or evidence could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structures and minor grammatical errors for more clarity and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument by presenting the topic and summarizing your stance.
complete response
You've addressed both sides of the argument, which shows you understand the complexity of the issue.
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