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Band 5

It has been more than 30 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money while some people don't. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#years #man #first #moon #people #space #research #waste #money
he
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 effectiveness of
space
research
 and its outcomes currently seem debatable. Some people believe that the exploration of
space
 is a waste of money
while
 some believe that it is much needed for the survival of humanity. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and state my own opinion. On one hand,
space
 exploration consumes billions of dollars
while
 the outcomes remain unpredictable.
For example
, building a
space craft
Correct your spelling
spacecraft
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, finding the right fuel, and hiring innovative human
resources
 are not necessarily simple tasks
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there are very few companies that succeed in their efforts and most undergo bankruptcy causing havoc in the economy.
For instance
, during the moon landing USA had an upper hand in
space
research
along with
 Russia but in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years China, India and many other countries have got involved in
this
 area which will collectively affect the global economy.
On the other hand
, the earth is running out of
resources
due to
 excess mining. The competition has reached a point in which global competition is exponentially increasing year by year
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
In addition
, investing in
space
research
 probably could find
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 potential
resourceres
Correct your spelling
resources
in
Change preposition
on
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 the moon or Mars to collect materials to meet
demands
Correct article usage
the demands
show examples
 of an ever-increasing population.
However
, the initial planning will depend on
resources
 on
this
 planet which needs to be cautiously managed. In conclusion, I lean towards the opinion that
space
research
 is not a complete waste.
However
, there are extra steps that need to be taken by individuals who are involved in it to minimize the wastage of
resources
 and
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
 and limit the rate of progress until a sustainable model is invented for an exponential extraction of
space
.
Submitted by onlineconsumer on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points and counterpoints. Providing clearer examples or evidence could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structures and minor grammatical errors for more clarity and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument by presenting the topic and summarizing your stance.
complete response
You've addressed both sides of the argument, which shows you understand the complexity of the issue.

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