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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The large amount of time and money that is spent on conserving wildlife would be better spent on improving the lives of humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Wildlife has always been an essential part of our
ecosystem
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,
thus
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, it has to be protected. Nowadays, it is often said that it is beneficial to donate
money
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 to conserve the environment. At the same time,
however
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, others believe that
such
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money
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 would be better spent on topics related to humans, namely, decreasing the costs of life, developing social care, etc.
While
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 each of these views has both pros and cons, I believe that it is more beneficial to protect
nature
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 rather than humans. Wildlife is the foundation of our
ecosystem
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,
hence
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, by conserving it we
also
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 take care of ourselves. Everything that
lives
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 on the Earth is connected with each other;
therefore
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, it is crucial not to allow fauna and flora to extinct as
such
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 a scenario would be disastrous for us as well. If the Earth was deprived of wild
nature
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, it wouldn't be suitable for settlements anymore since the
ecosystem
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 would collapse.
As a result
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, each possible action, including
money
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 donations, should be taken in order to protect it.
On the other hand
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, there have been many significant problems associated with human life that should be solved too. Rising costs of living, improvement of social care, and getting rid of hunger in undeveloped countries are just a few examples of
this
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.
Consequently
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, the
money
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that is
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 allocated to
nature
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's protection could, at least partly, improve the conditions of
lives
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 of thousands of people all over the world.
However
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,
such
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 an approach, despite its strengths, would be disastrous for us as the unprotected
nature
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 would easily to extinct,
consequently
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 endangering our
lives
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 as well. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that the
money
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 spent on conserving wildlife should be allocated to the development of human
lives
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.
While
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such
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money
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 could improve the living conditions of many people, at the same time it would leave the fauna and flora unprotected endangering the
ecosystem
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as well as
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 our
lives
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.

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task achievement
Consider including more specific examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using linking words to enhance coherence and make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively setting up your argument and summarizing your points.
task achievement
You effectively tackled both perspectives on the issue and provided a balanced discussion before stating your position, which shows a good understanding of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • sustainable development
  • ecotourism
  • climate change
  • endangered species
  • ethical responsibility
  • interconnected
  • expenditure
  • psychological benefits
  • health benefits
  • natural environments
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