IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

#technology #world #culture #support
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It is debatable whether modern technology which is growing at a rapid pace is trying to create a cultural
unification
Use synonyms
. Certain people agree that we are slowly progressing towards the fusion
while
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 some argue we aren't. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the above idea with specific examples and state why I partially agree with the statement. On one hand, the development of communication systems and the instant transfer of information have become unstoppable.
For example
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, social media
such
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 as Facebook and Instagram, private messengers and online shopping platforms are extremely connected via algorithms.
In addition
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, these algorithms constantly monitor us to provide constant feedback to make us feel that we are on track and are cohesive. These tracks can be narrated to us in a rapid way to unify our ideas
due to
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 the increasing demand and cost of living which could make us agree partially upon unifying.
This
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unification
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 through delusional narrative modification seems to be influencing younger generations compared to adults in common.
On the other hand
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,not everyone owns a device and has access to the internet
such
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 as rural tribes or orthodox religious personnel.
For example
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, orthodox individuals practice their own methods of dressing, cooking and celebrating
while
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 they have no intention of accommodating anyone else.
In addition
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, some cultural narration on the internet seems to be fake, disruptive and have no sense of meaning to real human beings. These populations will not be interested in cultural
unification
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 as they are comfortable with their own, which in turn helps to maintain diversity and social cohesion. In conclusion, technology is rapidly growing and outpacing human thoughts.
However
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, the impact of modifying and unifying culture seems currently possible only in the Western world and areas connected by technology
while
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 the places which lack communication infrastructure will be left out of
unification
Use synonyms
.
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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance the clarity of your ideas, try organizing your main points more distinctly within paragraphs. For example, dedicate one paragraph entirely to the reasons supporting cultural unification through technology and another entirely to reasons against it.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning a specific instance or statistic about how a particular technology has influenced culture could provide more depth.
Introduction & Conclusion
The essay's introduction effectively sets the stage for a balanced discussion, outlining that the writer partially agrees with the statement and intends to explore both sides.
Task Achievement
The writer uses social media examples to demonstrate the rapid development of communication systems, showcasing real-world implications.
Coherence & Cohesion
There is a thoughtful conclusion that acknowledges the complexity of the issue, summarizing the balance of opinions discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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