Social media platforms are gaining in popularity in recent years. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ? [555]

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With the advent of the internet, society has witnessed a revolution in many aspects of life, and

entertaining

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entertainment

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apply

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no exception. New kinds of pastimes have appeared and probably, one of the most prominent recreations is social

media

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. Rarely do we see a person without a phone full of social

media

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nowadays and it might be what people spend most of their

times

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time

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with.

However

Linking Words

this

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raises a critical question of whether the incremental popularity of these new kinds of

entertaining

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entertainment

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is actually

beneficent

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beneficial

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there

Correct word choice

whether there

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may exist a potential risk to our daily lives. After weighing up both the merits and demerits of

this

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practice, I myself believe that the former far outweighs the latter,

thus

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substantiating

further

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pursuit of the above enquiry. Indeed, were social

media

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to be

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overused, it would bring about major disadvantages.

Firstly

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, many

users

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, especially

teenager

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teenagers

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, can find social

media

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highly addictive. In

this

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premise, it is the natural enthusiasm of

human

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humans

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when approaching and later on, deeply diving into the web version of society, plus the impressionability of teenagers, that have

exarcerbated

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exacerbated

the problem.

For example

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, cases have been recorded where children are too immersed in the

the

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apply

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appealing world of social

media

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, leading to the lack of human contact and even depression.

Additionally

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users

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can run risks of privacy invasion. Indeed, when signing in, people are

noticed

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notified

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of an

ensurance

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assurance

from the service-providing company to keep their

information

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in tact

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intact

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However

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, attacks have been recorded in several

company

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companies

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, including META, the headquarters of Facebook, which led to server crashes and leakage of

users

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information

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Although

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there were no major problems, the fact that our personal

information

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is vulnerable to hackers raises the question of online safety on social networking sites, since in fact, social

media

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, within

realm

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the realm

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of possibility, could bear immense harm to

users

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, both physiologically and psychologically.

Nevertheless

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, every coin has two sides, and social

media

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could deliver more favours than drawbacks.

For instance

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, social

media

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can foster innovation and learning.

With the

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The

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diversity of ideas and notions shared by experts on social

media

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channels,

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apply

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can spark

the

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apply

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creativity among

users

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. Just with a simple prompt and a click of a button, anyone can gain access to the seemingly unlimited sources of

information

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. A selective attitude could be required to be able to acknowledge the noteworthy

information

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but if used properly, social platforms could yield a positive outcome to your knowledge.

Moreover

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, social

media

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might be one of the best

approach

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approaches

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to news and current events. Platforms like X, Facebook and

Youtube

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YouTube

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have emerged

themselves

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apply

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as real-time sources, providing instant updates on happenings around the world.

Additionally

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, it is the availability and convenience that

facilitates

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facilitate

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access to breaking news and

helps

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help

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people stay informed on current events as they unfold.

Accordingly

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, Not only

social

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does social

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media

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offer constant

information

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access but

also

Linking Words

entertainment alongside

with

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apply

show examples

connectivity. The above discussion clearly demonstrates that the values social

media

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can bring about far overweight the latent risks. These platforms are here to stay and might continue to thrive in popularity in the aftermath of the continual development of society.

AndyFri Aug 16 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the task and provides a comprehensive discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of social media. However, including more specific and varied examples could strengthen your task response.

task achievement

While your ideas are generally clear, there are moments where your vocabulary and phrasing could be more precise. For instance, 'exarcerbated' should be 'exacerbated'. Improving vocabulary use can make your ideas even clearer.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve the overall flow. For example, using phrases like 'On the other hand' more consistently can enhance coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your argument, which is crucial for addressing the task comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning and relevant examples, particularly in the discussion of the advantages of social media.

coherence cohesion

You manage to maintain a logical structure throughout the essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument. This is a significant strength in terms of coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

516 words

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Social media platforms are gaining in popularity in recent years. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ? [555]

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some infomation is too important or too valueable to be shared freely.

Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?

It is impossible to help all the people in the world who are in need, so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people think cheaper air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be more expansive in order to discourage people to have it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.