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Some people think that children's leisure activities must be educational,otherwise, they are a complete waste of time.

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time
There is a view that the relative importance of spare
time
activities
 have to be organized
according to
education
,
while
 others say that it is just a waste of
time
.
Although
 there are some positive underlying factors, I fully disagree with
this
 notion because Overstudying can not only lead to mental and physical health problems but
also
 leave them with no free
time
 to spend on recreational
activities
.
To begin
 with, adding
education
instead
 of leisure
activities
 has many positive aspects,
however
, it is able to result in mental and physical challenges during the study. Many children who come home feel exhausted after school,
hence
 they can not complete the responsibility of overeducation.
In addition
, oftentimes
education
 brings about a sedentary lifestyle among young children.
As a result
, it can substantially impact the reduction of
education
 productivity.
Secondly
, establishing study as an alternative way of spare
time
 may result in a lack of
time
 to spend to enhance other capabilities. If they spend
time
 studying during the day, they have no
time
 for recreational
activities
such
 as training in sports, taking part in musical classes, and creating artwork.When it comes to music, it helps to unwind spiritually, by playing musical instruments or singing some kinds of songs.
Therefore
, it can help a balanced
education
 and children participate in their school lessons enthusiastically.
To sum up
, despite the fact that some say that one of the best ways is to change
education
instead
 of leisure
activities
, I completely disagree with
this
 statement because of its negative impact on health and the waste of
time
 it causes
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. This will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea with effective transitions between ideas to improve logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and your standpoint, which helps set the stage for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay ends with a clear conclusion that accurately reflects the points discussed in the body.
task achievement
You have effectively communicated your disagreement with the initial statement, providing a complete response to the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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