IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The charts below shoes one government's spending on culture ad education in 1995 and 2005 and the number of people participating in Arts events in the same year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#shoes #government #culture #ad #education #people #arts #events #year #information #features #comparisons
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The charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about one
Correct your spelling
government's
government
goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
 using money on Culture and
learning
Capitalize word
Learning
show examples
 in two years 1995 and 2005 and the amount of
people
 sharing in four
arts
 in
this
 same years.
Overall
,
it is
Clear
Fix capitalization
clear
show examples
 that the number of
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 who
participating
Wrong verb form
participated
show examples
 in
arts
 events
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the biggest percentage in both 1995 and 2005 than
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
arts
. In 1995
music
arts
Correct word choice
and arts
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the higher proportion
Change preposition
of govermant
show examples
govermant
Correct your spelling
government
 spending but it
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 down
Correct article usage
a littel
show examples
littel
Correct your spelling
little
 in 2005. The percentage
Change preposition
of goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 spending on
music
 was the biggest proportion
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
arts
 in 1995 ,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by
visual
Fix the agreement mistake
visuals
show examples
 and the lowest one was literature.
However
 , in 2005 theatre and
music
 were the
higher
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
two
arts
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 same percentage
spending
Change preposition
of spending
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 visual
arts
 and literature were the same.In 2005 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
 participating in
music
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
around 120,000,
while
 it increased gradually to 150, 000 in 2005. The number of
people
 who
participating
Wrong verb form
participated
show examples
 in theatre
arts
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 between 80,000,
90,000
Correct word choice
and 90,000
show examples
approximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 in 1995 and 2005. Visual
arts
 participating
people
 Were exactly 50,000 but
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 to around 49,000 in 2005.
In contrast
,
literature
Correct article usage
the literature
show examples
partiapating
Correct your spelling
participating
people
 were the lowest number
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was around 30,000 in 1995 and it rose to 40,000 in 2005.
Submitted by bushra.2001.mb on

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task response
Try to fully develop all your main points with clear examples and details to better achieve your task response.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the logical structure of your essay. This will enhance coherence and cohesion.
none
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling, as there are quite a few mistakes that can distract the reader.
coherence cohesion
You've included an introduction and attempted a conclusion, providing upfront information to the reader.
task response
You made an effort to describe changes and make comparisons between the years 1995 and 2005.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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