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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
map
Use synonyms
 depicts the layout of
measure
Correct article usage
the measure
show examples
 in 1998 and in 2008 some transformations have
made
Add a missing verb
been made
show examples
 in 2008 in the museum. After analysing the
map
Use synonyms
, in 1998, there were permanent
exhibition
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
 in the north-west
while
Linking Words
,the north-east
also
Linking Words
 covered with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
permanent
exhibition
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 in the
Add a comma
south-west,
show examples
south-west
Correct your spelling
southwest
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 there were temporary
exhibition
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
 whilst
south-east
Correct your spelling
southeast
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 some area was covered with permanent
exhibition
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 a shop, WC and bags and coats.The
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
map
Use synonyms
 consists of a garden and tickets , entrance and exit
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 at the bottom of the
map
Use synonyms
.
Further
Linking Words
, in 2008 after some changes in northwest restaurants were constructed and
northeast
Correct article usage
the northeast
show examples
 was unaltered.
Whereas
Linking Words
 shops' bags and coats were transformed toward the southwest,
wc
Correct your spelling
WC
show examples
is shifted to the upper of the
map
Use synonyms
 beside the cafe.
Linking Words
however
Capitalize word
However
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 the south-west contains permanent
exhibition
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
, whilst, a cafe sitting area and fountain are built in the centre of the
map
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, some changes were made in the new plan as it can be seen cafe sitting area and fountain were established in 2008.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words map, exhibition, rooms with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rectangular shape
  • central garden area
  • symmetrically arranged
  • expanded galleries
  • visitor flow management
  • temporary exhibition space
  • permanent gallery
  • visitor facilities
  • customer service focus
  • dedicated children's area
  • expanded restroom facilities
  • museum gardens
  • unoccupied outdoor space
  • shift towards long-term exhibits
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