Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some say that global sporting events are important in order to relax
the
international tensions and express patriotism in a healthy way. I completely disagree with Correct article usage
apply
this
notion because this
can put players
' health and lives at a huge risk and wars
might happen irrespective of this
.
Most of the popular events like Correct article usage
the world
world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
match
in the field of cricket or football, require extreme discipline meaning Correct subject-verb agreement
matches
players
push back a lot of their personal priorities in order to achieve a medal because their national pride is at stake. All citizens associate a lot of hope and expectations to
Change preposition
with
the
top-notch Correct article usage
apply
players
which increases the pressure further
and if those expectations are unfulfilled, the players
and their families are subjected to massive harassment. For example
, Virat Kohli, one of the internationally known cricketers, had once received mass rape threats for his daughter as the fans could not fathom his failure at a certain match.
Furthermore
, nuclear wars
among certain countries happen irrespective of the games. There is a lot of historical context and political restrictions involved when it comes to arranging these events. For example
, Iran and Israel, have had a history of ongoing wars
where the consequences have been disastrous; millions of humans have lost their lives. In a situation like theirs, no kind of event can really bring them back together or ease out
the tensions.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
, international games cannot necessarily help release patriotic emotions safely as it puts the players
under huge threat and some countries still continue to be in
Change preposition
at
wars
Fix the agreement mistake
war
due to
their historical context which does not allow to ease down
Change preposition
apply
the
international tensions either.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by man3meet4 on
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task response
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for improved clarity and flow.
cohesion coherence
Strengthen the coherence by using more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly between paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing the writer’s position effectively.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the mention of Virat Kohli, which effectively illustrate the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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