Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#events #football #world #cup #occasions #tensions #emotions

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Some say that global sporting events are important in order to relax

the

Correct article usage

apply

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international tensions and express patriotism in a healthy way. I completely disagree with

this

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notion because

this

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can put

players

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' health and lives at a huge risk and

wars

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might happen irrespective of

this

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. Most of the popular events like

Correct article usage

the world

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world cup

Correct your spelling

World Cup

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match

Correct subject-verb agreement

matches

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in the field of cricket or football, require extreme discipline meaning

players

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push back a lot of their personal priorities in order to achieve a medal because their national pride is at stake. All citizens associate a lot of hope and expectations

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with

show examples

the

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apply

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top-notch

players

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which increases the pressure

further

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and if those expectations are unfulfilled, the

players

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and their families are subjected to massive harassment.

For example

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, Virat Kohli, one of the internationally known cricketers, had once received mass rape threats for his daughter as the fans could not fathom his failure at a certain match.

Furthermore

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, nuclear

wars

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among certain countries happen irrespective of the games. There is a lot of historical context and political restrictions involved when it comes to arranging these events.

For example

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, Iran and Israel, have had a history of ongoing

wars

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where the consequences have been disastrous; millions of humans have lost their lives. In a situation like theirs, no kind of event can really bring them back together or ease

out

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the tensions.

To conclude

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, international games cannot necessarily help release patriotic emotions safely as it puts the

players

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under huge threat and some countries still continue to be

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show examples

Use synonyms

wars

Fix the agreement mistake

war

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due to

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their historical context which does not allow to ease

down

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apply

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the

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international tensions either.

Submitted by man3meet4 on Fri Oct 04 2024

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task response

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for improved clarity and flow.

cohesion coherence

Strengthen the coherence by using more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly between paragraphs.

introduction conclusion present

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing the writer’s position effectively.

relevant specific examples

The essay provides relevant examples, such as the mention of Virat Kohli, which effectively illustrate the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Governments in many countries are replacing old buildings such as art galleries and town halls with new ones. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some children spend every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheels. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the enviroment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?