task 2: Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

One school of thought holds that youngsters should divide their attention equally into all

subjects

while

others think that they should focus on the subject which boosts their interests and their talents.

This

essay will analyze both stances before concluding that I agree with the latter. On the one hand, there are good grounds for the belief that students should learn all

subjects

equally. The first reason is the aim to equip students an universal knowledge in almost every aspect of life ranging from cultural

subjects

to logical ones. Especially in

this

modernized area, where people have opportunities to be employed in international businesses or to live in another country, students must have a comprehensive mindset to minimize the ability of culture shocks when integrating into new cultures. Aside from that, focusing on all

subjects

helps to improve both physical well-being through gymnastic

subjects

and arrangement skills to maintain high performance

due to

workloads.

This

means to ensure teenagers' rounded growth process.

On the other hand

, I align with those who advocate the idea of adolescent’s self-designing

subjects

based on their concerns. Appropriate

subjects

mean less workload, allowing teens to participate in more extracurricular activities and avoiding mental issues that steer them from coping with too many

subjects

. It was,

for instance

, a heart-breaking case in Nguyen Khuyen Private School campus 3B in HCM city where a 10-grader chose to be suicidal from the school’s third floor owing to academic pressure.

Besides

, if juveniles can decide what to learn themselves, they might have a sense of self in learning these

subjects

with enjoyment

as well as

ambitious investigations.

This

thus

, serves as a sufficient way to consider what kind of fields they are interested in before stepping into university. In conclusion,

while

there are justifications behind the belief that the young should concentrate on all

subjects

, I would contend that those should pay attention to interesting

subjects

themselves.

Submitted by mylinhlee27 on Sun Jun 16 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure that your ideas are presented as clearly as possible. Simplify sentences where necessary to avoid ambiguity. Further elaborate on some points to make them more comprehensive.

logical structure

Work on transitioning between ideas in a more fluid manner to enhance the overall flow of the essay.

complete response

The essay addresses both sides of the argument very effectively, maintaining a balanced viewpoint throughout.

introduction conclusion present

Strong conclusion that effectively summarizes the essay and answers the question posed.

relevant specific examples

Examples such as the case of the Nguyen Khuyen School are relevant and clarify the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
interdisciplinary
well-rounded knowledge
specialized skills
passion-driven learning
unforeseen future demands
balanced approach
academic strengths
diversified education
curriculum breadth
specialization
career prospects
personal development
cognitive flexibility
adaptability

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task 2: Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many people choose natural healing methods, such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribe by their doctor for their aliments.