You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Many individuals often say that calls made on mobile devices should be tapped by the
government
for safety concerns.
However
, another set of people claim that
due to
privacy
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
show examples
this
information
should be kept private and should only be accessed
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
special permission. From my perspective, the call log history of a person should only be checked if some criminal evidence is found against that person.
Although
, tapping helps
detecting
Wrong verb form
detect
show examples
crimes at early stages, leakage of personal
information
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
highly likely. Tracking phone calls
serve
Correct subject-verb agreement
serves
show examples
as an early warning sign for
prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
show examples
of many crimes that are supposed to take place in the near future;
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
hence
, prevention measures should be taken beforehand.
For example
, In Iran, the
government
located a terrorist who made a phone call to his fellow companion, signalling to attack young artists in a club. Crimes like these ought to be prevented by disclosure of public data.
Therefore
, it is advantageous to have access to personal
information
.
Nevertheless
, exploitation and leaking of data is likely under
such
circumstances, as the
information
is widely available it could be sold for monetary gains.
For instance
, the public will bribe some officials or try to hack the network to retrieve other individual's call history.
Also
, the criminals tend to use devices which are not registered under their names and they communicate with each other in code languages.
Thus
, the real issue can not be resolved. In conclusion, people often put forward the argument whether phone calls should be tracked by the
government
, or not. From my point of view, the data should only be accessed by the
government
if the need arises. In spite of the fact that tracking is a prevention measure, it invades privacy.
Submitted by bidingmehakjot on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your conclusion clearly summarizes your stance and key points discussed, reinforcing your argument. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear and logical flow that aids the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Expand on your argument by exploring more angles or nuances related to both sides of the debate. This will enrich your discussion and display a deeper engagement with the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction succinctly presents the debate and your position, setting a clear direction for the essay.
supported main points
You provided a relevant example to support your point about government surveillance preventing crime, which strengthens your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance
  • Civil liberties
  • Oversight
  • Intrusion
  • National security
  • Counterterrorism
  • Wiretapping
  • Data encryption
  • Privacy rights
  • Authorized access
  • Judicial oversight
  • Illegal monitoring
  • Telecommunication data
  • Personal communications
  • Unwarranted intrusion
  • Transparency
  • Accountability
  • Civilian oversight
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