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Band 5.5

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

#cities #people #neighbours #lack #sense #community
The number of
people
 who fail to acknowledge their
neighbours
 is increasing each day in many cities.
Moreover
, many of them do not have
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of community.
This
 essay explains the possible causes of
this
 issue and the solution to
solve
Verb problem
apply
show examples
this
 alarming problem. A vast majority of
people
 nowadays do not bother greeting their
neighbours
 because they have multiple activities during the day and come home feeling extremely exhausted to the point where they have no more energy to socialize with other
people
, including
neighbours
. Since there is little to no interaction happening between individuals living in the same area, of
course
Add the comma(s)
course,
show examples
 they will be lacking in terms of communal
sense
.
Moreover
, the idea of 'individualism' has become a trend in today's world where many
people
 think that there is no importance
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 socializing with others who have no significant value in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Therefore
, these
people
 do not interact with
neighbours
 as they are less important. The solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 issue has to start with someone with social awareness who can bring
people
 together to build
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sense
 of community.
This
 person can start
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 approaching every individual living in the same residence and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 the responsibility to arrange
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
 with a schedule in advance so that everyone can attend. The meeting acts as a medium
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 to get to know each other and have casual
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
 to create
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
 between
neighbours
.
As a result
, it will develop
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sense
 of community among
people
 who live in the same neighbourhood. In conclusion, the lack of communal
sense
 and the growing number of individuals who do not know their
neighbours
 are
due to
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
lack of energy to socialize because of tight schedules and the best solution for
this
 issue is to arrange
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
 for residents to familiarize themselves with the neighbourhood.
Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on

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task achievement
Consider including more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of linking words to enhance flow between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear and concise introduction that outlines the main issues.
logical structure
Main points are logically organized, allowing easy understanding of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Population movement
  • Diverse communities
  • Busy lifestyles
  • Long working hours
  • Digital communities
  • Personal security concerns
  • Architectural designs
  • City planning
  • Natural meet and interact
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