IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017

#tourists #caribbean #island
The line graph depicts the
number
 of tourists visiting a Caribbean
island
 in
7-year
Add an article
a 7-year
the 7-year
show examples
 period.
Overall
,
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
number
 of
visitors
 grow considerably, with
satying
Correct your spelling
sitting
 on
cruise
Correct article usage
the cruise
show examples
 overtaking staying on
island's
Correct article usage
the island's
show examples
 popularity by mid-2015. In 2010, one
millions
Change to a singular noun
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
 visited the
island
, the majority of whom
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to stay on
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 over
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
cruise
. The
number
 of
visitors
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
prefer
 to stay on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 remained unchanged
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 early-2011, at almost 0.7
million
. By the same time, the
number
 of
visitors
 staying on a
cruise
 reached 0.5
million
. From 2011 onward, the
number
 of
visitors
 staying on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 rose gradually to a high of 1.5
million
 by 2013 and remained unaltered for the following 2
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
. The
number
 of
visitors
 staying on
cruise
Add an article
a cruise
the cruise
show examples
,
on the other hand
, increased to just over 1
million
 by 2015, before
witnwssing
Correct your spelling
witnessing
 a drop to its
inital
Correct your spelling
initial
number
 by 2012. Between 2015 and 2016 total
number
 of
visitors
 plateaued. and by mid-2015 the
number
 of
cruise
 voyagers and those who stayed on the
island
 were the same, at about 1.3
million
. By the end of the
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
cruise
 was the
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 dwell for
visitors
 as 2
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 of
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
3.5
Change preposition
of 3.5
show examples
million
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 stayed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
cruise
 for the time of their visit.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, island, visitors, cruise, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: