Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree.

Many people believe that the reduction of the
crime
rate will be achieved more effectively through better education rather than prison sentences. I disagree with
this
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because I consider that both approaches have their own distinctive merits and should each play an integral role in tackling
crime
. On the one hand, I would argue that prison is effective in dealing with offenders. One reason is that a person who commits a
crime
must learn that unlawful actions have consequences. Murderers,
for instance
, must be imprisoned for many years and
such
a punishment may act as a deterrent. They know that they will face loss of freedom, social isolation and separation from their loved ones if they carry out
such
a criminal act. Another reason is that when serious offenders are behind bars, they are no longer a danger to society and people can walk in the streets or relax in their homes more safely.
On the other hand
, I consider that education has a complementary role to play.
Firstly
, in schools, students should study some aspects of the law which affect their lives. Having some knowledge of the law, students are better prepared to avoid situations which may involve them in
crime
or becoming a victim.
For example
, youngsters must study the important laws about driving and road safety.
Secondly
, in prisons themselves, educational programmes must aim to provide prisoners with skills and qualifications to find work when they are released. I believe that prison sentences are one essential weapon in the fight against
crime
, and I disagree that providing better education alone is a more effective solution to reduce the
crime
rate.
Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on

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To strengthen your argument, consider discussing opposing viewpoints more extensively and refuting them clearly. This will make your position even more compelling.
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Provide a wider range of specific examples to support your main points. More detailed examples can enhance your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure throughout, with ideas clearly organized into paragraphs. This enhances readability and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating the thesis and summarizing the main points, respectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are clearly supported, with each paragraph presenting a distinct aspect of your argument.
task achievement
The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both prison and education as solutions to crime, which aligns well with the prompt.
task achievement
The ideas are clearly conveyed and easy to follow, contributing to the overall effectiveness of the response.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
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