Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is a view that

celebrities

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should only advertise healthy food and drinks because they have a strong influence on young

people

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and can shape their habits. Some

people

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think that if

celebrities

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promote only healthy products, it will lead to better lifestyle choices among the youth. I strongly oppose

this

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notion. One reason for my disagreement is that young

people

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are affected by many factors and not just by

celebrities

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. Their family, friends, teachers, and school play a major role in the choices they make.

For example

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, a teenager who is raised in a family that practices healthy eating and regular exercise is less likely to copy a celebrity who advertises unhealthy food. Schools

also

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provide education about nutrition and a healthy lifestyle, which means that young

people

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are not solely influenced by advertisements.

Therefore

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, blaming

celebrities

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for the poor habits of young individuals is an oversimplification of the real causes of unhealthy lifestyles. Another important point is that

celebrities

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have the right to choose what they want to promote, as long as it is legal. Restricting them to only advertise healthy products may limit their freedom of expression and harm their careers.

Instead

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of banning certain advertisements, authorities can put in place measures like warning labels or set time restrictions for showing ads of unhealthy products on television.

This

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approach can protect young

people

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while

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still allowing

celebrities

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the freedom to work. In conclusion,

while

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celebrities

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do influence young

people

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to some extent, many other factors

also

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shape their behaviour. It is more practical to enhance education and regulate advertisements than to restrict the rights of

celebrities

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makemoneyizzy16Thu Apr 10 2025

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position throughout and addresses the task effectively. However, consider providing more comprehensive examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your ideas are logically organized, but transitioning between points could be smoother to enhance the flow of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, but you may want to strengthen your conclusion with a more definitive statement that reinforces your main arguments.

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-argued stance against the idea of restricting celebrities' advertising choices.

task achievement

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, contributing to the clarity and relevance of your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorsement
influence
lifestyle
consciousness
social responsibility
regulation
liberty
supply and demand
unintended consequences
critical thinking
brand image
nutrition
public figure
health advocacy
restrictions
moderation
consumer behavior
market forces
ethical advertising
personal brand

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Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of maney and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe that they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say that they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both points of view and five your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Employers should focus on personal qualities over qualifications and experience when choosing someone for a job. To what extent do you agree with this?