Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

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It is commonly said that
children
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are facing many
pressures
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. Nowadays they face lots of
pressures
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like academic, social and commercial. I personally believe that
children
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need to more care for their
parents
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. And
parents
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have to take some action so that their
kids
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come out of
this
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situation. There are many academic
pressures
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on
children
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. Today it is going out of control day by day that's why
children
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have to face these problems. Academic problem is the main problem of the
children
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.
Kids
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'
parents
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always pressure their
children
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for many reasons. One reason is that
,
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apply
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they send their
kids
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to the best schools for long hours with heavier bags and
then
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they
force
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them to pay the tuition.
Therefore
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, they are
also
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pressured to complete their homework.
As a result
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,
children
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face many stresses.
On the other hand
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, social and commercial
pressures
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are a big problem for
children
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. Socially, the
parents
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of
children
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force
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them to adopt the local culture, but
children
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want to adopt the global culture. When their
parents
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force
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them to adopt culture
then
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they do not reveal their talents. But they have enough talents.
On the other hand
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, if their peers are buying goods, like the latest model mobile phone they want to buy a phone but they have enough money.
That is
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why they feel stressed. The solutions are not simple if their
parents
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do not support them. Every parent should support their
kids
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and behave as friendly.
Parents
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have to take more care of their
children
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so that they do not feel stressed.
In addition
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,
parents
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should have to mentally support them and help them so that they can overcome their talents. Every parent should give time to their
children
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.
Parents
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do not should to
force
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them anything. In conclusion,
children
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are facing more pressure, but we should take
a steps
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steps
a step
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so that
children
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can grow their minds and feel independent.
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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development
Develop ideas more thoroughly in each paragraph to enhance clarity and depth. Expand on why these pressures exist and how they specifically affect children.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which will help in delivering a more convincing task response.
cohesion
Try to better connect your paragraphs with transition words or phrases to improve the logical flow of ideas.
structure
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
task response
Identifies a variety of pressures faced by children today, including academic, social, and commercial, demonstrating an understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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