In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having en ageng population outweigh the disadvantages.
In
todays
life, Change to a genitive case
today's
people
ages are becoming way Change noun form
people's
more
longer, than before, and Change the word
apply
that is
due to
the huge progress in science and the development in all sectors in
our Change preposition
of
eara
, Correct your spelling
era
Overall
, some people
thinks
that it is a good thing, but others are disagreeing with that Change the verb form
think
statment
.
Getting into more details, a country having a large number of Correct your spelling
statement
ealders
can be dangerous, for Correct your spelling
elders
readers
instant
, the population will be vulnerable to Add an article
an instant
be vanish
, as a reason of the lack of young Change the verb form
vanish
persons
that will give Replace the word
people
bearth
and increase the country's population, Correct your spelling
birth
however
, goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
also
may have some issues with that, must of old people
do not work, and uses the public utilities by free, all that can damage the government's budget.
On the other hand
, studies say that,
societies that have a high Remove the comma
apply
percantage
of elders are way Correct your spelling
percentage
more happy
Replace the words
happier
,
and have much Remove the comma
apply
less
crime rates, Change the quantifier
fewer
also
, they are healthier.
In conclusion, the
medicine, technology, and scienceCorrect article usage
apply
in general
today Add the comma(s)
, in general,
is
way more advanced Correct subject-verb agreement
are
that
ever, and Correct word choice
than
as a result
, people
now are living more, and it is a good thing, but also
sometims
that can Correct your spelling
something
affects
the growth of their population size, which may result in an end of that society, which is a very dangerous, Change the verb form
affect
therefore
, old people
are an essantial
part of every society, but a balance in their percentage in the society is the best thing to have to solve all the problems that a country may encounter, and get all the benefits at the same time.Correct your spelling
essential
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task achievement
Try to develop your main points more thoroughly with relevant examples and explanations. This will provide stronger support for your arguments.
language
Watch out for grammatical errors and work towards using a wider range of vocabulary to clearly convey your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, using linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
task achievement
You have stated both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with an introduction and ends with a conclusion, which helps structure your argument effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.