In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having en ageng population outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #people #population #government #society #ageng

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todays

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today's

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life,

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people

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people's

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ages are becoming way

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apply

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longer, than before, and

that is

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the huge progress in science and the development in all sectors

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our

eara

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era

Overall

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, some

people

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thinks

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think

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that it is a good thing, but others are disagreeing with that

statment

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statement

. Getting into more details, a country having a large number of

ealders

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elders

readers

can be dangerous, for

instant

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an instant

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, the population will be vulnerable to

be vanish

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vanish

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, as a reason of the lack of young

persons

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people

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that will give

bearth

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birth

and increase the country's population,

however

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goverments

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governments

also

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may have some issues with that, must of old

people

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do not work, and uses the public utilities by free, all that can damage the government's budget.

On the other hand

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, studies say that

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apply

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societies that have a high

percantage

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percentage

of elders are way

more happy

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happier

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apply

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and have much

less

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fewer

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crime rates,

also

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, they are healthier. In conclusion,

the

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apply

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medicine, technology, and science

in general

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, in general,

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today

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are

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way more advanced

that

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than

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ever, and

as a result

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people

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now are living more, and it is a good thing, but

also

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sometims

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something

that can

affects

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affect

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the growth of their population size, which may result in an end of that society, which is a very dangerous,

therefore

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, old

people

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are an

essantial

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essential

part of every society, but a balance in their percentage in the society is the best thing to have to solve all the problems that a country may encounter, and get all the benefits at the same time.

Submitted by aojubair1 on Sat Oct 05 2024

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task achievement

Try to develop your main points more thoroughly with relevant examples and explanations. This will provide stronger support for your arguments.

language

Watch out for grammatical errors and work towards using a wider range of vocabulary to clearly convey your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, using linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.

task achievement

You have stated both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay begins with an introduction and ends with a conclusion, which helps structure your argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

aging population
economic productivity
pension schemes
healthcare systems
consumer spending
medical care
healthcare costs
public healthcare
job creation
caregiving sector
mentorship
cultural traditions
family dynamics
emotional support
policy reforms
retirement age
pension plans
sustainable social systems
technology and innovation
quality of life

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