lt is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some people argue that it is essential, especially for teenagers, to save money for the future. The essay totally agrees with that statement. Saving cash is important because it is impossible to know when you will need it the most.

Furthermore

, doing that allows individuals to develop qualities and become independent. Indeed, unexpected accidents tend to happen in life, and saving cash allows us to face them without difficulties. Teenagers could suddenly lose their parents in a tragic incident,

thus

being left with nothing, and if they have some part of their earnings, they could survive better and continue living without them.

For example

, in the year 2023, 17-year-old Marisa Hamini lost her family in a tragic aeroplane crash. The Egyptian girl managed to survive and to keep living thanks to all the bills she had saved during her life, which helped her finance her studies and university.

Moreover

, saving money can help individuals become independent and prepare for their future. When people do

this

, they develop important qualities

such

as being able to control their spending, choosing what really matters and learning to appreciate the value of objects...

For instance

, a study led by Harvard University in 2019 showed that teenagers who do not save money buy 10 times more things per year than those who do. The study

also

showed that the things they buy are mostly clothes,

while

the others will buy more valuable objects

such

as cars, laptops... In conclusion, it is essential, for youngsters especially, to save cash, because that will help them face the inconveniences of life and become more independent and responsible.

That is

why most people totally agree with the fact that saving bills is very important.

Submitted by santos_dij on Tue Nov 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance transitions between paragraphs for even smoother flow.

task achievement

Ensure all examples and points clearly tie back to the main statement for cohesive progression.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant specific examples, like the story of Marisa Hamini, effectively supporting the main arguments.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in guiding the reader through the essay's arguments.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is strong, with each paragraph having a clear main point supported by evidence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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lt is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

Some people say that in all levels of education from primary school to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not in learning practical skills, upto what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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some people believe that social media sites, such as facebook or twitter, have a negative impcat on young people and their ability to form personal relatioship. others believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way