Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that
education
is crucial for the
personal development; Correct article usage
apply
however
, people argue about the nesessity
for students under 18 years to stay full-time at Correct your spelling
necessity
shools
. I support the idea that it has to be mandatory for all teenagers and in Correct your spelling
schools
this
essay I will explain my thoughts.
To begin
with, full-time studying positively affects on
student performance. Change preposition
apply
This
is because all
Correct determiner usage
an
day
presence at a school ensures the immersion in Correct your spelling
all-day
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
proccess
, Correct your spelling
process
however
spending few
hours after work may not Correct article usage
a few
garanty
the same Correct your spelling
guarantee
guaranty
comprehantion
of topics. As for Correct your spelling
comprehension
a evidence
could be described Remove the article
evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
the
situation in many developing countries, where students work and study Change preposition
as the
simultaniously
, not passing exams for years. Alternatively, if the linkage between full-time Correct your spelling
simultaneously
education
and the
performance was not true, youngsters would not attend schools at all.
Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, as education
is the best investment for future
, youth should focus attention and spend full-time on the studying Correct article usage
the future
proccess
. It is hard to deny, that Correct your spelling
process
well educated
people have Add a hyphen
well-educated
bigger
wages. Of Correct word choice
higher
couse
, the presence at a school all Correct your spelling
course
time
Correct article usage
the time
is
not Verb problem
does
garanty
success, Correct your spelling
guarantee
guaranty
however
it increases Add the comma(s)
however,
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
to find
Change preposition
of finding
well-paid
job. As the contre example the situation where the majority of people, who studied Add an article
a well-paid
part time
after work under 18 years, now have low-paid positions in companies.
In conclusion, there are two main reasons why full-time staying at Add a hyphen
part-time
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
have
to be Correct subject-verb agreement
has
compulsary
. Correct your spelling
compulsory
First,
more effecient
learning because of the focus on Correct your spelling
efficient
consumption
of Add an article
the consumption
knowlege
. Correct your spelling
knowledge
Second,
the
Correct article usage
apply
education
for teenagers the
most important, it gives perspectives to grow Add a missing verb
is the
in
Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the carreer
carreer
ladder and have to cover the most productive hours in a day.Correct your spelling
career
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linguistic
Try to minimize spelling mistakes. For example, 'nesessity' should be 'necessity', 'shools' should be 'schools', 'proccess' should be 'process', 'comprehantion' should be 'comprehension', 'simultaniously' should be 'simultaneously', 'garanty' should be 'guarantee', 'effecient' should be 'efficient', 'knowlege' should be 'knowledge', 'carreer' should be 'career'. Consider using tools like spell checkers.
coherence
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
task assignment
Work on providing more varied and specific examples to strengthen your points.
structure
Introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and effectively encapsulate the main points.
coherence
The essay generally maintains a logical flow and progression of ideas.
task assignment
Main points are well supported and closely tied to the overall argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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