The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The narrative to minimize
traffic
in urban areas by implementing
mobility
restrictions recently is a hot discussion among citizens. Activity that supports
traffic
such
as going to school or work
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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need to add some restrictions, for
sake
Correct article usage
the sake
show examples
of reducing
traffic
. Objectively, there are some benefits,
however
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however,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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partly disagree with some extent for
this
solution. First of all,
mobility
restriction will be beneficial to some extent.
By reducing
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Reducing
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a
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the
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number of
vehicle
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vehicles
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can increase significantly
air
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the air
show examples
quality index in
city
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the city
show examples
.
For example
, during
pandemic
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a pandemic
the pandemic
show examples
era in 2020, all citizens in Jakarta, Indonesia were forced to reduce their
mobility
. At that time, air quality was so good. It is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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prove
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proven
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by implementing
mobility
restrictions, the number of
emission
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emissions
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can
be reduce
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be reduced
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while
air quality will increase.
Conversely
, despite
benefits
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the benefits
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that
has
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have
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been
mention
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mentioned
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above,
i
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I
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argue that
mobility
restriction is quite impractical. The main reason is that not all activity can be done from home.
Moreover
, more disadvantages can occur when most citizens
were
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are
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forced to stay at home. We can recall what the impact happened during
covid-19
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the covid-19
show examples
era.
Firstly
, the number of divorce cases increased dramatically.
As a result
, the happiness index in Indonesia started to decrease.
Instead
, the government is required to produce public goods
such
as public transportation. Railway in the greater Jakarta area is
proven
Correct article usage
a proven
show examples
solution that can reduce
traffic
.
To conclude
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe
this
initiative will bring more disadvantages rather than benefits.
Furtheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, The authorities should give more attention
on
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to
show examples
public transportation
that is
reliable, accessible and affordable for all people.
Submitted by muhammad.andhitya on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully engage with the question. Although you provide some interesting points, you could discuss more varied methods to reduce city traffic aside from mobility restrictions to create a more balanced and comprehensive argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has an overall logical structure, it could benefit from a clearer organization of ideas. Try to ensure that each paragraph presents a distinct point and supports it with examples or reasoning that aligns directly with the topic statement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a fairly clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion and providing closure.
task achievement
You provide a relevant real-world example by referring to the situation in Jakarta during the pandemic, which helps to illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commuting patterns
  • Remote work
  • Telecommuting
  • E-learning platforms
  • E-commerce
  • Urban planning
  • Public transportation
  • Infrastructure development
  • Green spaces
  • Pedestrianization
  • Carbon footprint
  • Sustainable living
  • Carpooling
  • Cycle lanes
  • Mixed-use development
  • Teleconference
  • Urban sprawl
  • Zoning regulations
  • Traffic congestion
  • City logistics
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