The use of phones, tablets, and other devices when people are walking in public is causing concern among many commentators. What dangers may arise when people focus on such devices when walking in the street? How could these problems be reduced?

#phones #tablets #devices #people #concern #commentators #dangers #focus #street

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The use of phones, tablets, and other electronic

devices

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

walking on the

road

Use synonyms

is a matter of concern among many

people

Use synonyms

. It can cause dangers of causing an accident

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and being fined by

traffic

Use synonyms

police

Use synonyms

. These problems can be reduced by raising awareness among

people

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and implementing strict

traffic

Use synonyms

rules

Use synonyms

. Using electronic

devices

Use synonyms

when walking on the

road

Use synonyms

can cause a serious accident. It is because a

person

Use synonyms

cannot pay attention to his safety when scrolling

device

Correct article usage

a device

show examples

, and crossing the

road

Use synonyms

at the same time. It can take a valuable life, cause lifetime disability, and any other serious physical harm

Change preposition

show examples

that

person

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, if a

person

Use synonyms

uses

device

Correct article usage

a device

show examples

while

Linking Words

walking, he

Correct your spelling

can

show examples

be fined by

Use synonyms

police

Correct article usage

the police

show examples

. It is a violation of

trafic

Correct your spelling

traffic

rules

Use synonyms

, and

Use synonyms

police

Correct article usage

the police

show examples

can fine him a huge amount of money.

For example

Linking Words

, in Australia, using

phone

Correct article usage

a phone

show examples

while

Linking Words

crossing the

road

Use synonyms

is a violation of

traffic

Use synonyms

, and if

someoene

Correct your spelling

someone

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

that, and

caught

Add a missing verb

is caught

show examples

Use synonyms

police

Correct article usage

the police

show examples

, he has to pay a huge amount of fine.

This

Linking Words

problem can be solved by raising awareness among

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

. The

government

Use synonyms

and other organizations can arrange campaigns about

road

Use synonyms

safety, and encourage

people

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not to use phones, tablets, and other

devices

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

on the the

road

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

can implement strict

traffic

Use synonyms

rules

Use synonyms

for not using

devices

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

walking on the

road

Use synonyms

. Those

people

Use synonyms

who will violate the

rules

Use synonyms

should be imprisoned and

find

Wrong verb form

found

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, in Bangladesh, the

government

Use synonyms

has implemented six months imprisonment, if someone uses

mobile

Correct article usage

a mobile

show examples

phone when on the

road

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

rule has reduced the trend of using

devices

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on the

road

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significantly. In conclusion, using electronic

devices

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when walking on the

road

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causes danger to the

person

Use synonyms

's life and the

person

Use synonyms

may have to pay a huge fine. The

government

Use synonyms

can raise awareness through campaigns

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and can put strict

rules

Use synonyms

to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Sun Oct 06 2024

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coherence

Consider ensuring complete clarity in your sentences, as some parts may seem slightly unclear or awkward. For example, using clearer transitions between ideas in paragraph two could help enhance coherence.

task

Although the essay presents relevant examples, consider including a balance of broader arguments and more local examples to provide a comprehensive picture.

task

The essay effectively addresses both parts of the question by identifying dangers and proposing solutions.

coherence

The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a good frame for the essay.

task

Specific examples, such as those from Australia and Bangladesh, enhance the relevance and specificity of your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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The use of phones, tablets, and other devices when people are walking in public is causing concern among many commentators. What dangers may arise when people focus on such devices when walking in the street? How could these problems be reduced?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, it is possible to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outwiegh the disadvantages?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resources.