People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People
ought to be able to save their all money,
instead
of paying
taxes
to the state.
Although
I partially agree with
this
statement,
people
should pay
taxes
to have better
services
in the country. On the one side,
people
should keep all the money they earn.
Firstly
, if
people
were allowed to save their
earnings
, they might be more motivated to
work
harder and be more productive. It can increase
incentive
Add an article
the incentive
show examples
to
work
working
Verb problem
apply
show examples
without paying
taxes
.
Secondly
,
people
have the right
ownership
Change preposition
to ownership
show examples
of their
earnings
because of their hard
work
and
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
may be
include
Wrong verb form
included
show examples
their most of their
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
.
For example
, the
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
taxes
require more money and even rich families may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suffer from
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
taxes
.
Therefore
, the government should reduce the
taxes
. On the other side,
people
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
pay
taxes
to the state. Paying
taxes
can help to improve public
services
in the country. Health care, education, emergency
services
and transportation systems are largely financed through taxation. Without
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
funds, maintaining a high standard of living or even basic societal operations would be challenging.
For example
, roads and public schools would deteriorate without the necessary
financil
Correct your spelling
financial
support from
taxes
. So,
people
should separate a little part of their
earnings
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
tax
. In conclusion,
people
should pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
from their
earnings
to have better quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
services
in the country. But most
people
do not want to pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
. Because they may
be
Change the verb form
be working
show examples
work
hard to
take
Verb problem
earn
show examples
their monthly salary.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving logical connectors to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph supports the central argument and contributes to a cohesive overall message.
task achievement
Include more real-life examples to support your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Aim to present more comprehensive ideas to fully cover different aspects of the question.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents a balanced view, acknowledging both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, adhering to the task requirements.
task achievement
You have raised important points about the benefits of paying taxes for public services, which adds strength to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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