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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, while others think that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In
this
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 day and age, many young
people
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 are facing a dilemma
while
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 choosing a
job
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.
While
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 many
people
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 argue that the young should be able to choose their occupation freely, others believe that they should be pragmatic and prioritize their future. In the following essay, I am going to discuss both views and state my view on
this
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 matter. On one hand, individuals suppose that the young should follow their passion.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that when individuals choose a
job
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that is
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 suitable to their interests, they might focus on the work and work diligently to manifest their dreams,
thus
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 increasing their creativity and productivity.
For example
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, Tlinh, who is a famous rapper in Vietnam, was given permission to give up medical school to pursue her passion for music, and soon Vietnam music industry was introduced to an energetic, multi-talented rapper.
On the other hand
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, youngsters should be pragmatic when it comes to choosing jobs. Simply put, one of the primary purposes of working is to earn money to pay for bills and basic necessities,
thus
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 choosing a
job
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 with either a high salary or with opportunities to reach higher in their career path is a crucial decision a person has to make to ensure a comfortable life.
As a result
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 of that, they could be financially stable when settling down for a family and saving up money for unexpected events.
For instance
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, a small saving from an individual’s monthly salary could be vital during emergencies
such
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 as having medical issues or struggling with financial matters. In conclusion,
while
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 a lot of
people
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 believe that youngsters should be free to decide where to work, others suppose that they should be realistic and think about their future to prepare for difficulties they might face later in life, I believe that
people
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 should apply for a stable
job
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 with reasonable income to stabilize their personal life.

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Task Response
Make sure to weigh the pros and cons of each perspective in a balanced manner, as this will provide a more comprehensive discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider incorporating more linking words or phrases to further enhance the natural flow between sentences and ideas.
Task Response
The essay offers a well-rounded discussion, addressing both viewpoints on the topic and offering a clear personal opinion in the conclusion.
Task Response
The use of specific examples, like mentioning Tlinh, strengthens the argument by making it more relatable and evidence-based.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, contributing to the coherence of arguments presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • employment prospects
  • financial stability
  • job security
  • economically viable
  • harnessing potential
  • labor market
  • vocational guidance
  • real-world demands
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