IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Due to globalization, many countries lose their traditions and national values. Some people think it is the responsibility of governments to protect these values. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that many countries are losing their
traditions
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 and national
values
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 because of globalization, and it is the responsibility of the
government
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 to protect these
values
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. I personally agree with
this
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 viewpoint because the
government
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 can create awareness among the public to preserve national
values
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, and it is the responsibility of the
government
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 to preserve
national
Correct article usage
the national
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values
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 and
traditions
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 of a
country
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. The
government
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 can create awareness among the public to protect a
country
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's national
values
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. If the
government
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 arrange campaigns to protect local
traditions
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 and
values
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, people are bound to follow the rules of the
government
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
government
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 can easily attract citizens to join in campaigns, and inspire them to practice local
traditions
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 and
values
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh, the
government
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 arranges a campaign about the traditional lifestyle of Bangladesh every year. Citizens join in that campaign and get inspired to follow the old
traditions
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is the responsibility of the
government
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 to preserve a
country
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's
traditions
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 and national
values
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. The
government
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 should preserve the old
traditions
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, history, heritage,
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values
Correct word choice
and values
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 of a
country
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 for future generations.
Traditions
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 and
values
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 are an identity of a nation and the young generation should know about that.
Except
Add the preposition
Except for
show examples
 the
government
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, no one
have
Change the verb form
has
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 the authority to teach the young generation about traditional
values
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 and old
traditions
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the
government
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 have
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 authority to add
traditions
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 and national
values
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in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the school curriculum. In conclusion, the
government
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 should preserve old
traditions
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 and national
values
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 for future generations, and the
government
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 can create awareness among the general public to follow and practice old
traditions
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 and
values
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.

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task achievement
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear and distinct point or purpose, and consider more specific examples to fully develop each point.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that transitions between your points and paragraphs are smooth to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as the Bangladesh campaign, to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and restates your position.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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