IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first graph below shows the weight (in tones) of fruit produced by a farm during each month in 2013, and also the amount (in tones) of fertiliser used. The second graph shows the volume of rainfall in each month (in millimetres.) Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first graph below shows the weight (in tones) of fruit produced by a farm during each month in 2013, and also the amount (in tones) of fertiliser used. The second graph shows the volume of rainfall in each month (in millimetres.) Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #weight #tones #fruit #farm #month #amount #fertiliser #second #volume #rainfall #millimetres #report #information #features #comparisons
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In 2013, the two
Use synonyms
graph
Change to a plural noun
graphs
show examples
 illustrated the weight of
fruit
Use synonyms
 produced, and the amount of fertiliser used—in tones— by a field during each month. The second
graph
Use synonyms
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
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 the quantity of
rainfall
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 in each month— in
millimetres
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
fruit
Use synonyms
 production peaked.
Conversely
Linking Words
, both
rainfall
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 and fertiliser use were at the lowest when
fruit
Use synonyms
 production increased. The first
graph
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 displayed the weight of
fruit
Use synonyms
 production in 2013. In the first quarter, it stood above 2
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 it
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
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 swiftly and peaked above 4
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of fertiliser rose and peaked under 1
tonnes
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. Afterwards, it declined rapidly and remained at approximately 0.65
tonnes
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. The second
graph
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illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
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 the amount of
rainfall
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. it comprised around 12
millimetres
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. It
grow
Change the verb form
grows
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 sharply and
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
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 the highest
roughly
Change preposition
at roughly
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 16 in
Februrary
Correct your spelling
February
. From April to June, it declined significantly, which stayed at around 6
millimetres
Use synonyms
. Afterwards,
rainfall
Use synonyms
 remained stable. Between October and December, it increased markedly and stayed at about 14
millimetres
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Tiger23 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, fruit, rainfall, millimetres, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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