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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbean #island
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The line chart compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who visited in
Island
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2017
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who visited the
Island
Use synonyms
 over the period increased significantly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the figure for the
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 who who stayed on cruise ships and stayed on the
Island
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
,
visitors
Use synonyms
 rose gradually from 2010 to 2017. In terms of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
, the total
number
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 of tourists a light increased
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1
million
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., it was rising from 2010 to 2015. The visitor’s
number
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 of
million
Use synonyms
 stood at around 2.7 in 2015 and 2016.
However
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 dramatically increased and reached a
peck
Correct your spelling
peak
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 of 3.5 billion between 2016 to 2017. In 2010, the figure for
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 who prepped to stay on chips ships was just slowly decreased in the years of 2010 and 2013.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 staying on cruise ships gradually increased and reached
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
peck
Correct your spelling
peak
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 of 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 hand,
visitors
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 stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
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 and it had stood from 2010 to 2011.
However
Linking Words
,
visitors
Use synonyms
stayed
Correct pronoun usage
who stayed
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 slowly rose in 2012 and 2015.
Then
Linking Words
 slightly decreased,again it increased and reached 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, island, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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