IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In the opinion of some people, internet has narrowed the gap among people in the world by increasing social interaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this view?

#people #internet #gap #world #interaction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some would
regarded
Change the verb form
be regarded
regard
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has made the world a small village by
increacing scoial
Correct your spelling
increasing social
 interaction.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly support that idea, as I saw how
people
Use synonyms
 become more connected
togehter
Correct your spelling
together
 by using social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 but it
also
Linking Words
 has a
badly
Change the adverb
bad
show examples
 impact on them. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has become the most significant invention in the
last
Linking Words
years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
 it helps the world a lot,
espacially
Correct your spelling
especially
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
connection
Correct article usage
the connection
show examples
 part, it made the
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
 between
people
Use synonyms
 more easily,
For example
Linking Words
, in the past, they were waiting for
messege
Correct your spelling
message
 for months to
arrived
Change the form of the verb
arrive
show examples
, but now in few seconds the other person will
reseve
Correct your spelling
receive
 the
messege
Correct your spelling
message
 and
also
Linking Words
 answer it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in the way the
internet
Use synonyms
 helps
people
Use synonyms
 to
increas
Correct your spelling
increase
 their social contact.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, by using
scoial
Correct your spelling
social
 media apps,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's lives become
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 it has a
neagtive
Correct your spelling
negative
 impact,
thus
Linking Words
 their social
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 depend on just these apps. For
instanct
Correct your spelling
instance
, if the person
miss
Change the verb form
misses
show examples
 his friend, he will call him on the phone or just send him a
messege
Correct your spelling
message
, not to go meet him in person.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 need to put
Add an article
a limit
show examples
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 using social websites and back to
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
show examples
 in real life. In conclusion, the
internet
Use synonyms
 has a lot of
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and made
people
Use synonyms
's
scoial
Correct your spelling
social
 lives
more easily
Wrong verb form
easier
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
 it made it worse by
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 only
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these apps and platforms.
Submitted by daliaakram35 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, but it would benefit from a more structured argument. Try outlining your main points in advance and use paragraphs more effectively to separate different ideas.
improvement
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors to ensure clarity. For example, ensure that words like 'increase' and 'social' are spelled correctly.
improvement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Concrete examples can help strengthen your argument.
content
The essay clearly introduces the topic and presents a position on the internet's impact on social interaction.
coherence
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: