Scientist agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health, some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#scientist #people #junk #food #health #education #work

The current lifestyle of

people

is very

fast paced

Add a hyphen

fast-paced

show examples

and stressful.

As a result

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

show examples

have started resorting to

junk

food

as a means to fight their hunger.

This

has negative consequences as researchers agree that

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of oily

food

impacts adversely. It is believed that the problem can be addressed by bringing awareness to consumers

while

others believe that

this

technique will not work. I will discuss both views followed by my opinion. The habits of

people

nowadays have become very unhealthy.

This

includes

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle and

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

show examples

consumption of

junk

food

. Most households now have two

people

earning and

this

leaves no or very

less

Correct word choice

little

show examples

time to prepare something grand, which ultimately leads to

food

being ordered from restaurants.

This

constant consumption leads to

health

problems like diabetes and heart issues. Educating

people

about

this

hazard is the least the government or

health

ministry can do. It can be started from

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age only by giving presentations to stage plays and skits.

For example

, we live in the age of Artificial Intelligence. One can foresee what will happen in future based on the algorithms. If we feed our current

health

statistics, it will predict the most plausible future in minutes.

On the contrary

, some

people

believe that educating

people

will not work. For that

also

, the government can step up by putting taxes on fast

food

items and sugary snacks and drinks.

This

will lead to

people

being pinched when they consume

such

things.

Also

availability

Correct article usage

the availability

show examples

of public parks and gyms would add to the attraction for

people

to opt for

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

the healthy

show examples

way of living.

For instance

, a

BigMac

Correct your spelling

Big Mac

costs less than a chicken garden salad at any restaurant. In order to counter that,

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

should be an additional

junk

food

tax put by

government

Add an article

the government

a government

show examples

which can later be used by

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

ministry only for treating heart patients and diabetics. In

conslusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

junk

food

is bad injurious

health

and eating too much of it can lead to damaging your

health

. In my opinion, educating

people

about it is of utmost importance followed by placing strict measures placed by the

authories

Correct your spelling

authorities

which would discourage the consumers

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

opting

junk

Change preposition

for junk

show examples

food

Also

, trying to adopt healthier options should

also

be encouraged so that we can keep ourselves healthy.

Submitted by hudibaiqbal on Mon Oct 07 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to expand more on your points with additional evidence and examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve some transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay, providing smoother coherence.

overall

Take care of minor language errors. While they don't significantly impact your score, smoother language enhances readability.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets up the discussion and presents both views effectively, which is great for coherence.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task and offers a solid personal opinion, which are essential for task achievement.

task achievement

You use relevant examples like taxation and AI predictions, which enrich your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

378 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Scientist agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health, some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.