Some people say that the best way to improve health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others,However,say that this woud have little effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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These days when you turn on the TV or

fleck

Verb problem

look

show examples

through the pages of

news papers

Correct your spelling

newspapers

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, you will see the news about

health

Use synonyms

problems and different

measure

Fix the agreement mistake

measures

show examples

presented by

Use synonyms

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

department for improvement in

this

Linking Words

regard, whether

its

Correct your spelling

it's

show examples

from

sports

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facilities or other activities. The question arises in our mind, How can

sports

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help in improving

health

Use synonyms

and what are the other steps in

this

Linking Words

regard? I completely agree with the ideas and will support my opinion in

this

Linking Words

essay with examples. Commencing

Change preposition

with

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the first idea, many

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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believe that if the government wants to work for the betterment of the

health

Use synonyms

of the inhabitants,

than

Replace the word

then

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it should introduce

sports

Use synonyms

in the region. As different

sports

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activities

level-up

Correct your spelling

level up

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the intellectual and

congetive

Correct your spelling

cognitive

congestive

abilities of the

people

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, which makes their performance

standarized

Correct your spelling

standardized

Besides

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

good for making one physically strong and fit.

For instance

Linking Words

, in a group of

athletics

Replace the word

athletes

show examples

and ordinary

people

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, you will easily see that the one who is connected to the

sports

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will perform

actively

Correct quantifier usage

more actively

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than the ordinary one.

Moreover

Linking Words

, It is

also

Linking Words

assumed by many

people

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around the world that for improvement in

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health

Add an article

the health

show examples

of the residents, the

health

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and care sector should

also

Linking Words

focus on the other measures as well. Like spreading awareness about the benefits of the

exercises

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Correct word choice

Exercises

show examples

exercises

Use synonyms

daily

Correct article usage

a daily

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baises

Correct your spelling

basis

biases

will

also

Linking Words

make

people

Use synonyms

mentally strong and physically fit.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, proper balance

dite

Correct your spelling

diet

also

Linking Words

necessary. Proper

protines

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proteins

, calories and vitamins in best for the growth of

Correct article usage

the human's

show examples

human's

Change noun form

human

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body.

However

Linking Words

,no doubt

sports

Use synonyms

is useful but it carries individuals interest in it, but

according to

Linking Words

my assumption daily

exercises

Use synonyms

and proper

nutritions

Correct your spelling

nutrition

show examples

have more benefits than anything else.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is

cleared

Replace the word

clear

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from the above arguments that other measures like

Use synonyms

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

and

nutritions

Fix the agreement mistake

nutrition

show examples

have more benefits, than engaging

people

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

as it is an illusion, to grab the attention of

Correct article usage

the entrie

show examples

entrie

Correct your spelling

entire

population towards

sports

Use synonyms

hadiyanasir73Mon Oct 07 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. The essay has a logical flow, but sometimes it feels a bit disjointed. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties it back to the main argument.

Task Achievement

Pay attention to verb tenses and subject-verb agreement to improve grammatical accuracy. For example, "whether its from sports facilities or other activities" should be "whether it’s from sports facilities or other activities."

Task Achievement

Try to include specific examples or studies to strongly support your argument, particularly in discussing how sports facilities might directly influence health benefits over general exercise or nutrition.

Introduction

The introduction clearly addresses the topic and sets up the discussion of both viewpoints effectively.

Supported Main Points

You provide a balanced view by acknowledging both the benefits of sports facilities and other health measures, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and clearly states your opinion, which ties together the essay nicely.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

315 words

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Some people say that the best way to improve health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others,However,say that this woud have little effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some Governments are encouraging businesses to move the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh to disadvantages?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own

In many large cities, people have to spend hours driving in heavy traffic every day. What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays schools should not use textbooks because children get bored with books. Using games, computers and TV is a better way to give them new information and knowledge. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?